The majority of online daters are passionate, interesting people who are just looking for a fun night out or a little romance. You could spend months or years online dating and never receive a message that makes you feel uncomfortable. But sadly, the large number of good, upstanding daters doesn't change the fact there is still a sizeable population of weirdos, perverts, and just plain socially inept souls who fill inboxes with poorly-spelled and innuendo-laden messages.
Here are 26 people who almost ruin online dating for everyone else.
1. This Guy With a Weird Fetish
Never, ever ask this man for his guacamole recipe.
2. This Person Who Has Bizarre Questions About Your Upbringing
Weird pick up line or a new parent looking for feeding advice? Either way, I've just permanently lost my appetite for milk.
3. This Guy Who Goes For The Subliminal Route
4. This Guy Who Is Forward
At least he asked for permission?
5. This Backtracker
That went from weird, to awkward, to pathetic -- all in under a minute.
6. This Guy Who Loves The Imperial Measurement System
No, seriously. She works for the Department of Weights and Measures.
7. This Wordsmith
I believe that's a line from the first draft of a Shakespeare sonnet.
8. This Guy With A Gift For Innuendo
Get it?? Gross.
9. This Horrible Man
10. This Guy Who Does Not Take Rejection Very Well
Come for the online dating, stay for the guys who reveal their self-esteem issues.
11. This Guy Who Is Apparently Roommates With His Mom
Who doesn't love a man who blackmails others with the threat of kicking his mother out of the house?
12. This Guy Who Got Real Crazy Real Fast
He hates anyone he doesn't already know.
13. This Census Taker
The 2013 winter census is mostly about favorite pizza toppings.
14. This Guy With Mommy Issues
Nothing says "catch" like 19th century psychology.
15. This Guy Who Received Some Helpful Advice
She handled that in the best way possible.
16. This Guy Who Sweetens The Deal With The Inclusion Of "Pete"
Is that Jesse from Breaking Bad?? "Hey Pete, let me tell you about this girl who never responds to my texts..."
17. This Guy Who Is Looking For Outside Opinions
It's important to value the opinions of others.
18. This Guy Who Has An Odd Definition Of "Classy"
You don't even want to see what he considers "sauve."
19. This Guy Who Made An Irresistible Offer
"And that's how I met your mother."
20. This Man Who Can Impregnate People With Text Messages
That's certainly a bolder introduction than "How are you?"
21. This Girl Who Proves That Guys Don't Have A Monopoly On Creepiness
lol idk y u give TMI.
22. This Person Who Is a Medical Device
It's looking for a heart rate monitor to call its very own.
23. This Guy Who Doesn't Quite Know How To Open
Somehow, his grammar is more offensive than what he actually said.
24. This Guy Who Comes On A Wee Strong
Dating rule of thumb--never bring up the "hungry bear" before the third date.
25. This Guy Who Cuts To The Chase
"And if that goes ok, maybe we could have dinner some time."
26. This Guy Who Has A Thing For The Infirm
Honestly, who doesn't love slowly healing bones?