The majority of online daters are passionate, interesting people who are just looking for a fun night out or a little romance. You could spend months or years online dating and never receive a message that makes you feel uncomfortable. But sadly, the large number of good, upstanding daters doesn't change the fact there is still a sizeable population of weirdos, perverts, and just plain socially inept souls who fill inboxes with poorly-spelled and innuendo-laden messages.

Here are 26 people who almost ruin online dating for everyone else.

 

1. This Guy With a Weird Fetish

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Never, ever ask this man for his guacamole recipe.

 

2. This Person Who Has Bizarre Questions About Your Upbringing

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Weird pick up line or a new parent looking for feeding advice? Either way, I've just permanently lost my appetite for milk.

 

3. This Guy Who Goes For The Subliminal Route

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Subtle.

 

4. This Guy Who Is Forward

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At least he asked for permission?

 

5. This Backtracker

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That went from weird, to awkward, to pathetic -- all in under a minute.

 

6. This Guy Who Loves The Imperial Measurement System

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No, seriously. She works for the Department of Weights and Measures.

 

7. This Wordsmith

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I believe that's a line from the first draft of a Shakespeare sonnet.

 

8. This Guy With A Gift For Innuendo

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Get it?? Gross.

 

9. This Horrible Man

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Ugh.

 

10. This Guy Who Does Not Take Rejection Very Well

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Come for the online dating, stay for the guys who reveal their self-esteem issues.

 

11. This Guy Who Is Apparently Roommates With His Mom

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Who doesn't love a man who blackmails others with the threat of kicking his mother out of the house?

 

12. This Guy Who Got Real Crazy Real Fast

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He hates anyone he doesn't already know.

 

13. This Census Taker

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The 2013 winter census is mostly about favorite pizza toppings.

 

14. This Guy With Mommy Issues

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Nothing says "catch" like 19th century psychology.

 

15. This Guy Who Received Some Helpful Advice

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She handled that in the best way possible.

 

16. This Guy Who Sweetens The Deal With The Inclusion Of "Pete"

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Is that Jesse from Breaking Bad?? "Hey Pete, let me tell you about this girl who never responds to my texts..."

 

17. This Guy Who Is Looking For Outside Opinions

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It's important to value the opinions of others.

 

18. This Guy Who Has An Odd Definition Of "Classy"

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You don't even want to see what he considers "sauve."

 

19. This Guy Who Made An Irresistible Offer

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 "And that's how I met your mother."

 

20. This Man Who Can Impregnate People With Text Messages

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That's certainly a bolder introduction than "How are you?"

 

21. This Girl Who Proves That Guys Don't Have A Monopoly On Creepiness

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lol idk y u give TMI.

 

22. This Person Who Is a Medical Device

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It's looking for a heart rate monitor to call its very own.

 

23. This Guy Who Doesn't Quite Know How To Open

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Somehow, his grammar is more offensive than what he actually said.

 

24. This Guy Who Comes On A Wee Strong

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Dating rule of thumb--never bring up the "hungry bear" before the third date.

 

25. This Guy Who Cuts To The Chase

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"And if that goes ok, maybe we could have dinner some time."

 

26. This Guy Who Has A Thing For The Infirm

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Honestly, who doesn't love slowly healing bones?