With the Sochi Olympics going from planning disaster to somewhat functiong disaster, it's actually a surprise their Olympic mascots aren't nightmares made from the stiched togetehr parts of exterminated dogs. Not that the above mascots are anything special, they basically just look like some rejected characters from Frozen. The same can't be said for the mascots of Olympics past. For the purpose of determing which Olympic mascot is most likely to murder you in your sleep, I'll be ranking these freakshows which range from "creepy" to "dear-god-kill-it-with-fire-creepiest."
Basically he's a pancake-faced star in a one-piece snowsuit. Not so much creepy, just lame and begging to be pelted in the face with an ice ball.
9. Schneemann - 1976 Innsbruck Winter Games
Wow, a snowball with a carrot and a red cowboy hat, way to phone it in, Innsbruck. It's like they forgot they needed a mascot until five minutes before the opening ceremony and grabbed an ugly hat from the lost and found pin and just put it on some snow.
8. Quatchi, Sumi and Mukmuk - 2010 Vancouver Winter Games
Vancouver gave us a sasquatch, a woodland spirit and an island marmot. Two of these mascots would likely devour your bones.
7. Beibi, Jingjing, Huanhuan, Yingying, Nini - 2008 Bejing Summer Games
Each mascot was supposed to represent an Olympic ring and Feng Shui element. Truthfully it's just more creepy anime and they should probably all be tested for SARS.
6. Ziggy - 1996 Atlanta Summer Games
Ziggy is basically a blue blob that had lightning bolts for eyebrows which were probably supposed to link him to the ancient Greek Olympics or something. Really, he's a castaway from McDonaldland that even Grimace thinks is a total creepshow.
5. Misha - 1980 Moscow Summer Games
If Misha ask if you'd like to touch his Olympic rings belt, back slowly away and call Chris Hansen.
4. Athena and Phevos - 2004 Athens Summer Games
If you ever wondered if two clubfooted penises would make good mascots, you no longer need to wonder.
3. Cobie - 1992 Barcelona Summer Games
Lots of Olympic mascots don't wear pants (which is a whole other issue) but did the world need to be exposed to this flesh-colored asexual? Won't somebody please, think of the children?!
2. Neve and Gliz - 2006 Turin Winter Games
One is a marshmallow with legs and the other is an ice cube with legs, both look eerily similar to the Blockheads from Gumby. And those guys were sociopathic assholes.
1. Wenlock and Mandeville - 2012 London Summer Games
Dammit, do these mofos give me the creeps. A cyclops has never been a beloved children's character and it wouldn't surprise me if these two had drilled peepholes into the women's gymnastics lockeroom.
Which mascot would you most fear being locked in a room with?