By Caldwell Tanner
The Moon Conspiracy You've Never Heard Before
1. Conspiracy theorist sitting in a dark room
Theorist: The moon controls all the earth's oceans, but...what else does it control?
2. Tight shot of theorist's face
Theorist: Wait a minute
3. Shot of a table with photos of several govt. buildings and monuments at night, the moon is present in all of them.
Theorist: Oh my god.
4. Theorist stares outward with paranoia.
Theorist: How deep does this g-
5. A giant ocean wave crushes the theorist.