Illustrated by Nathan Yaffe.
By Will Stephen
- The "Well Isn't That Nice." Face
A: Rejected from all law schools... Shit.
B: Oof I'm sorry boo
B: WAIT AHHHH I JUST GOT INTO STANFORD LAW!!!!!!!
A: Wow! That's... SO great.
A: (emoticon) (emoticon) (emoticon)
- The "OK, But It's My Turn to Talk Now?" Face
A: And it's just like... If he's into me, he should let me know, you know?
B: Right, well did I tell you about me and Brad?
A: Because, like, I've made it PERFECTLY clear how IIIII feel....
B: Totally (emoticon)
A: And at this point, it's like - I'm not going to keep hooking up with him, know what I mean?
B: Absolutely (emoticon)
- The "And I'm Sure That Was SUPER Hard For You..." Face
A: Ahhh I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to your engagement party I had this AWFUL AWFUL cold I will make it up to u I promise!!!!!
B: Oh no problem at all, I guess I just wish you'd warned me so I could have changed the reservation haha...
A: I'm SO sorry, I was SO SO sick it was gross
B: (emoticon) (emoticon) (emoticon) Aww babe! Seriously, not a big deal
- The "Yeah, If You Could Just Take Care of That ASAP, That Would Be AmEEzing" Face
A: Hey roomie! The dishes are kind of piling up after your fajita night on Tues lol...
B: Oh my bad! Cleaning that up as soon as I get home
A: Theeenk uuuu
A: (emoticon) (panda) (emoticon) (panda) (emoticon) (panda) (emoticon)
- The "Do NOT Push Me Right Now" Face
A: Hey do you mind helping me take all the Christmas decorations down now like we agreed?
B: I'm actually going to the gym right now, we can figure it out later, cool? (emoticon)
A: OK when are you getting home?
B: Uh, really not sure (emoticon)
A: You don't even have a vague time window?
B: Nope! (emoticon) (emoticon) (emoticon)
- The "And That's Fine, I Guess I Just Wish You'd Consulted Me First?" Face
A: Hey have you seen my green patterned anthro blouse by any chance?
B: OMG I'm so sorry, I meant to tell you, I borrowed it for Ryan's party on Friday, I am going to wash it and get it back to you TODAY
A: Awesome thanks!!
B: Ugh all my fun tops were in the wash, I'm sorry...
A: (emoticon) (emoticon) NOT a big deal srsly I just like needed it for last night haha