1. Don't take a nap on the first day. Stay awake until their nighttime so that you can more quickly adjust to the new time zone.

 

2. Don't forget to do your homework. As tempting as it is to not do any of the reading and go sightseeing instead, it is not worth getting an F in a class. This will matter when you get back and your GPA has totally gone down the drain.

 

3. Don't get into cars just because a guy named Goran says it's a taxi even though there is no sign. He's not a special taxi driver. Trust me.

 

4. Don't ask why they blindfolded you in the back of Goran's car that is totally not a taxi. That will only make them angrier and hit you harder.

 

5. Don't try to slip out of the handcuffs like you learned in magic class in middle school. These are different handcuffs. You will just hurt your shoulder.

 

6. Don't take your phone off Airplane Mode, otherwise you will rack up huge roaming charges.

 

7. Don't wet your pants and start crying when Goran pulls out pliers and asks where Borislav is. He will just taunt you about it.

 

8. Whatever you do, don't act like you don't know a Borislav. That doesn't stop them, even if it is true. It only makes the interrogation last longer.

 

9. Don't drink the tap water. They say it's clean, but better safe than sorry.

 

10. Don't carry all of your passport copies and passports in the same place. It just gives Goran more of your things to burn in front of you.

 

11. Don't ask Goran why he is doing this. He really doesn't like questions.

 

12. Don't forget your metro card while walking around. You'll have to take the tram back from Goran's torture den and that will take forever.

 

13. Don't take Goran's fake taxi again just because you thought it looked like a different car. It's still not a taxi.

 

14. Don't take pictures of people without asking. It is considered quite rude in many countries.

 

15. Don't try to bribe Goran this time. He does not want your filthy bourgeois cash.

 

16. Don't buy anything unless you have checked nearby shops to compare prices. You don't want to be overcharged when a deal lies just two blocks away.

 

17. Don't tell Goran that you lied about knowing where Borislav was before. He does not like liars.

 

18. Don't go to the police. They are looking for Borislav too.

 

19. Don't run from the police. They have mace and night sticks.

 

20. Don't forget to get your eight hours at night. Sleep is really important, even in another country.