5) Brown Chert


Source: sandatlas.org

Let's start with a true classic, shall we? Whether or not you consider yourself a "fan" of Brown Chert, there's no denying its influence on rock culture. I mean, let's face it - Brown Chert is everywhere. You can't go to a single yard in suburban America without seeing sweet Brownie C all over the place. Sure, it's basic, and for the caffeine-crazed screen-junkie millennials out there it may seem boring and unadventurous - but bells and whistles aren't for every gala, am I right? Brown Chert is a staple in rock history, and that's why it gets a spot on our list.


4) Pink Quartzite


Source: studyblue.com

Everyone has a story of the first time they got a taste of the pink panther. For me, it was in the basement of my buddy Cornell's house in the summer of '93. We were 10 years old, and we had just raided his older brother Lionel's epic rock collection. We sat in that air-conditioned basement for hours, staring at Pink Quartzite's intricate swirls and feeling its daring grooves. We played with that rock over and over again until we memorized every inch - and then we played with it some more. To this day I can't look at a bit of PQ without it taking me back to that basement with Cornell. Mimicked by many, duplicated by none, Pink Quartzite is certainly one of the top legends of classic rock. 


3) Diorite


Source: Wikimedia Commons

Before you start sending any of your e-hate mails my way, just hear me out. Diorite's legacy to the rock world isn't so much what it had to offer, but rather showing us that there ARE other offers out there - as long as someone is willing to make them. I'm not one who can spend too much time with Dio, but I can appreciate what it did for a medium that was in danger of becoming stale. It turned "rock" as we know it on its ass and told us to DEAL with it, and we wouldn't have half the rocks we have today without it. Certainly a worthy addition to the list.


2) Turritella Agate


Source: greenearthstones.com

Holy shit, I can't even type the name without getting fucking pumped. Turr Ag has everything you want in a rock - it's beautiful yet tough, simple yet complex. It's a rock that can both make you think and help you turn your brain off. We've all had that moment when someone asks you to describe Turritella Agate in a few words and you just can't. It's fundamentally unlike any rock that's come before or after it. I'm sure more than a few of you will be upset that it's not number one on the list; and you'd be justified. Turritella Agate is without a doubt one of the most legendary rocks of all time, and anyone who doesn't think so quite frankly doesn't have a soul.


1) Potatoes


Source: business-spotlight.de 

Yes, I know - potatoes aren't technically rocks. But that's exactly why they're number one on the list. Potatoes dared us, and continue to dare us, to be something we might think we're not. Potatoes implore us to unapologetically face our fears, to reveal to ourselves our full potential, to go beyond what "society" tells us we are and become what we want to be. And if that's not the most rock thing I've ever heard, then I don't know what is. Congratulations potatoes, you're number one on our list of the Top 5 Legends of Classic Rock.