1. The Fake Celebrity Account
"Guys! I think James Franco just followed me!" Really? Would James Franco have to add an extra few letters or numbers to his username? No. Of course not. It's not James Franco, it's just a 14 year-old girl. Did you even look for the verified account checkmark thing?
2. The Shoutout-for-Shoutout/Follow-for-Follow Guy
You didn't follow him back, so you're not really sure why he's still following you. He loves his followers more than his Beats by Dr. Dre headphones and his collection of flat brim caps combined. This may seem crazy, but he actually has his connections in the Twitter world. From what I've heard, if you like follow him and retweet him, you'll have 1,000+ followers by the next day. Crazy stuff.
3. Your College Professor Who Thinks They Know How to Use Technology
He "gets it". He thinks using Twitter might be the cool, new way to be connected. For the first two months, he's posting regularly but by month three, he's only managed to force half of the class to follow him. He overuses emoticons and thinks you actually care enough to read an article that has an "interesting take" on Grapes of Wrath. Next year, he thinks he's just going to go back to e-mail.
4. The Promo Band That May Also Be The Local Band
Their manager, who oddly happens to be one of their older brothers, runs the account and sometimes books them shows at terrifying, local-ish bars in very rough areas. But hey, they're pretty sure this next show they're going to have is at a place that is totally cool with underage drinking. You're just going to have to sit for two hours and listen to their latest song that they think managed to combine Bob Marley and Folk.
5. Your Mom's Cousin Who Somehow Found Your Twitter
You knew you were making a mistake when she asked for your e-mail to send you pictures of the family vacation. She somehow has way more followers than you anticipated, mostly her church/Bible study friends but still... 324 followers?! Don't even think about it because she will definitely notice if you block her.
6. #The #Hashtag #Abuser
Not only will he tweet every thing he is doing, he will add on at least 10 hashtags to that tweet. You're not really sure why he does it, but you think it might be follower related? Listen, last time he tweeted a pretty solid entry to #thingsmymomdoesntunderstand and he gained, like, 10 followers. In his own words, #dontbeahater.
7. Your Ex-Girlfriend
Maybe if you read every tweet she's ever posted, you'll know what went wrong or when it all started to go down-hill. She posted Bruno Mars lyrics yesterday that you think may have meant that she missed you but then she quoted a Maroon 5 song that seemed a little hostile?
8. The Porn Account
There is nothing to say about these accounts. At least one follows you.