Yep, no hyperbole here--just the absolute best things from any time.

1. Taylor Lautner Shirtless

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Hey, remember Taylor Lautner? He was in Twilight. No, that's Robert Pattinson. He dated Taylor Swift. No, that's, well, maybe they did date. Taylor Lautner, you know, the guy who turns into THE Greatest Thing Ever when he takes his shirt off.

 

2. A Swallowing Shark Pillow

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I can't wait to see the look on my kids' faces when I tell them about how when I grew up, if you wanted to suffocate someone with a pillow, you'd have to do most of the work yourself.

 

3. CVS Not Selling Cigarettes

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"YASSSS!" shouted the thousands suffering tobacco-related illnesses. "Call off the search for the cure!"

 

4. Brunch

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Well, it's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but man... Yeah, brunch is the greatest thing ever. SO much better than fire, food, air, DRAMA, or anything else that you absolutely need to eat brunch.

 

5. Whatever This Is

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I'm not sure what the Sonic Retro message board is talking about, but I doubt it's better than The Internet, the thing that made it so stuff like the Sonic Retro message board can exist. Okay, maybe it is.

 

6. The Russian Police Choir Singing "Get Lucky"

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Three things we all still love from when The Russian Police Choir Singing "Get Lucky" was dubbed The Greatest Thing Ever: Russia, police, and "Get Lucky."

 

7. #Lawrencing

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Thank you for taking time that you could have been spending #Lawrencing or admiring others who are #Lawrencing and using it to read this article.

 

8. A Picture of Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield

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You don't need to be a fan of Emma Stone or Andrew Garfield to see that this picture of them walking is better than sight itself.

 

9. This Doctor Who/A-Ha Mashup

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What is unanimously considered to be the best show of all time meets what is unanimously considered to be the best band of all time. Hm, maybe they are on to something! PSYCH! Saying this is The Greatest Thing Ever is like saying my "PSYCH!" joke was new and refreshing. In other words, blatantly lying.

 

10. A Completed Futurama LEGO Set

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Agreed, this is It, The Greatest Thing Ever, and no, I'm not just saying that because I'm terrified of anyone who has the time and money to make this possible. This is the crowning achievement of all of mankind, a child's toy made for an adult. Good job, Humanity. We did it!