No one is safe, but especially you (I don't know why, you just seem sort of fragile and suspesctible to accidents). At any rate, the Illuminati grows stronger every day, and it is only a matter of time before they control every aspect of your life -- no detail too small. It would be too dangerous to overlook the evidence. Let this carefully curated list of Illuminati hotspots guide you, strike fear into your heart, and who knows, maybe even protect you. God speed.
Every time you make a sandwhich, the Illuminati is there.
I'm sorry, your favorite chocolate spread as well.
Sure, they have smooth skin and kind eyes and are generally friendly to humans, but don't be fooled. Dolphins are not nearly as innocent as you think.
Wake up sheeple, they have all our HEROES.
Oh no. They got America.
Good lord they have THE WORLD. STARING AT US RIGHT IN THE FACE.
Does the preservation of childhood mean NOTHING to the Illuminati???
WHY DO YOU THINK LETTERMAN IS LEAVING???
ALREADY IN YOUR HOME.
But uh, you know, it's just a theory. Could be wrong.