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1. You don't need an hour to get ready for that thing.

Think about it. If you just shave while you shit, and eat your waffles in the shower, you can definitely hit the snooze button.

 

2. Didn't you read an article six months ago about how much sleep you need?

Yeah, you definitely read that a lack of sleep can lead to heart disease. It would be physically irresponsible of you to sleep any less than 10 hours. After all, you only get one body, so should hit the snooze again. Doctor's orders.

 

3. You deserve this.

You've been working had these past couple days. Yesterday you cleaned the dishes AND mailed a letter. What are you, Superman? Because I bet even he hits the snooze button sometimes.

 

4. Your leg is wrapped up in the sheets.

Seriously, how did this happen? Did you wrestle someone in your dreams or start sleep-kickboxing? Whatever you did, your sheets have become a prison. It'd be pointless to do anything besides hit the snooze and do your time. 

 

5. You've got to finish your dream.

It's not everyday dreams like this come along. Either you were right about to live out 50 Shades of Gray with Beyoncé, or save a damsel in distress (who for some reason looks exactly like that girl you had a crush on in sixth grade) from Space Russians, but you need to get back. People pay twelve dollars to see a movie, and you're getting IMAX on ecstasy for free. That's got to be worth another snooze.

 

6. The longer you sleep, the longer you can stay up.

The only good things that happen before noon are cartoons and McDonalds Breakfast Menu. You're in the prime of your life, and you live for the night. Start acting like it and hit the snooze button again.

 

7. The bed is so warm.

You've probably never been this comfy in your whole life, and who knows if you ever will again? Consider this. How much do you pay for heating? Because you'd be losing money if you got out of bed now. All this warmth, you'd basically be burning money if you got out of bed now. Be smart and snooze.

 

8. You're just not feeling this one.

For some reason, you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this time. Better to move over, hit the snooze again, and hope this one works out.

 

9. You've missed your plans.

How did this happen? You only went back to sleep for like a minute, how did it get to be 1pm? Oh well, that wedding wasn't that important anyway. I'm sure there will be others, what with the divorce rate and how much Karen sucks. It's probably best that you just hit the snooze and try again tomorrow.