Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Career Advice From A Guy Who Has Held His Entry-level Job For 32 Years
September 3, 2014
1. Kiss your boss on both cheeks at the start of everyday.
2. Remember to tip the secretary when she delivers your mail.
3. Instead of taking a lunch break, go into your boss's office and throw away extraneous-seeming papers.
4. When your boss asks for his coffee black, surprise him by adding cream and five sugars. He will enjoy the sweet milky treat.
5. If you chance upon a funny online video, forward it to the entire staff listserv.
6. Intersperse PowerPoint presentations with animated dog imagery.
7. Use vacations as a time to redecorate the entire office with confetti, Mardi Gras beads, and popcorn.
8. Wear ties that are objectively covered in breakfast cereal and milk.
9. When using the ladies' toilet, always remember to leave the seat down.
10. When using the mens' toilet, do not pee sitting down, unless in the urinals or sinks.
11. Always address your colleagues and superiors in what appears to be their native language.
12. Ask beforehand if it is OK to bring your iguanas to "bring your kid to work day".
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.