Wear whatever you want, but just know that if your shirt reads "bukkake ruined my carpet" nobody's stepping foot in your home. For ANY reason. EVER. Seriously, avoid these shirts at all costs unless you want other humans to avoid you like... well, like a guy who has bukkake parties in his living room. 

1. Something he'll never see while wearing that shirt. 

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Source: imgur

2. Pool party invites: 0

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Source: sodahead

3. He's not smiling, but that bottle of KY is cause for concern. 

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Source: srslyforreal

 

4. The perfect shirt for letting others know you're not allowed within 100 feet of a school zone. 

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Source: srslyforreal

5.  Replace "titties, faces and asses" with "tissues" and his shirt is accurate. 

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Source: funnyjunk

6. That might just kill her. 

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Source: heavy