Good afternoon. Thank you so much for coming in.
How are you -- can I get you some coffee or water?
I'm fine, thank you. How are you?
Good, good. I mean, you probably heard, Randy stopped working here, a couple weeks ago, so that's BEEN FUN.
Ugh, I'm sorry. That's the worst.
Yeah, I'm just like, dealing with it. Not sad at all! Tooootally over him.
Haha, totally. What happened, anyway? You guys seemed like such a good fit.
Well, don't tell anyone...but I caught him moonlighting.
Oh my God!
Yeah. Just sending emails from his COMPANY ACCOUNT arranging freelance work. Pretty disgusting stuff.
I can't believe Randy would cheat. On his contract.
Well, good riddance. I always thought your company could do way better without him.
Oh, right, sure.
I mean it! I bet you're interviewing tons of other people for his job.
Haaaaaaaa. Why would you say that?
I mean...you're a really cool company. You're so...profitable.
Ahhhh, stop, stop. Now I feel like I was just fishing for that. Anyway, YOU'RE the one who always has a job.
Not these days.
I dunno, I've been sort of just trying to be unemployed for a little bit and really focus on ME, you know?
Completely. I mean, it's too bad.
Well, I was gonna ask if...no, never mind. It's dumb.
What? Tell me!!
Ugh, okay. You're gonna laugh at me. I was sort of planning to ask you if you might want to...come in and do some work here sometime?
You mean like a joooooob?
No! Not unless you want it to be. It could just be as friends. We wouldn't have to be, like, colleagues.
Yeah, that would be weird.
Not because you'd be a bad colleague! It's just like, it would be weird to just suddenly go from being interviewer-and-interviewee to then start thinking of each other that way. Like, I just can't imagine...taking the ELEVATOR with you. Or going to MEETINGS together.
Yeah, no, I definitely have never imagined that either.
I mean, you're like my brother.
No! No, I didn't mean it like that--
Well, listen, it's fine if you don't want to. I'm not looking for anything super serious. I'm not, like, DESPERATE FOR AN EMPLOYEE, or anything.
I'm not desperate for a job!
I do NOT need that kind of drama.
Exactly. I mean. A lot of my friends have jobs...I guess I'm getting to that age? And I do get jealous sometimes, just seeing how they always have something to pay the bills, and take care of them when they're sick. But I'm FINE on my own.
Well, I don't know if you'd be into this, but we could always just do like...an internship? Just to keep things casual and see how it goes?
Oh, right, because that always ends super well. It's like all the hassle of a job and none of the benefits.
Well, maybe not for you.
Oh, I see. You just want me for my labor?
No! Ugh, this is coming out all wrong. I want your reply-all emails, and your bad jokes about the office coffee in the morning. I want your weird-smelling lunch that you always bring from home that the rest of us will all make jokes about behind your back. And yes, I want your hard work and professionalism, but that's not why I'm asking you to come in. I want to be more than friends. And I know it's scary, but I want to be scared! I want you as my employee. I want to hire you.
I...I think I want that too.
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