Sure, you may have attended an Oscar party last weekend. Hey, maybe you even hosted one. You sat around your dorm room or apartment and joked about Camren Diaz’s too-recent face surgery. Your roommate made inappropriate comments during the death montage. You placed bets on mediocre performances, most of which you never even made it out to see. You pretended to have a good time. But, deep down, you were really thinking, “To hell with the Oscars. The real talent in this industry is on the best television show ever created.”

Lost, mother fuckers!

Here’s what went down this week, in a Dharma beer gulp:

Kate and Sawyer get back “home” to their friends on the beach. Sawyer’s still being a gayrod over Kate. Vincent leads Hurley to a beat up hippie van that contains a dead guy and beer. Hurley and the boys eventually get it up and running. Charlie’s worried about dying, but Hurley cheers him up. Kate enlists the French chick to help her rescue Jack. Overall, it was a feel-good episode.

Here’s what we learn:

1- Honestly, not much. This may have been the least information-producing episode of Lost ever, but I have to say that it was also one of my favorites. Definitely the most laugh-out-loud moments.

2- Cheech Marin is still working. Who knew Sawyer’s “Cheech” reference earlier this season was foreshadowing?

3- We learn that Hurley’s curse is pretty real. Also, he was fucking adorable as a kid. But, most importantly, we learn that having a deadbeat dad can lead a kid into childhood obesity.

4- This episode has stellar (yes, I used the word ‘stellar’) shock value moments: the dead skeleton arm with a key, the meteor hitting Mr. Cluck’s (that was awesome), and the almost-car crash.

5- Jin is learning English. It’s about time, Mr. Foreigner! You’re in America, damn in! And, by “America,” I mean on a fictional island off the coast of Australia. But, I am glad that they are making an attempt to have this happen gradually, and not like in Splash, when the mermaid learned English in one day. We all know mermaids can’t learn that fast.

6- If you’re an insane Lost fan, you’d know that Randy, Hurley’s boss from the chicken place, is ALSO Locke’s boss from the box company. I believe this was done as a decoy, to make us believe that perhaps people are “chosen” to be on the island. But, now I think that the real reason is simply because Hurley had invested in the box company, and he needed to get Randy a new job after the meteor hit the restaurant. Thoughts?

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