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There is no feeling of millennial humblebrag quite like being asked in a deadpan "What is that." Oh that? It's a pretty obscure smartphone - you probably haven't heard of it.

 

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When you see another Windows Phone user, it's a lot like finding a unicorn. Bag 'em and tag 'em before releasing them back into the wild because you'll never see them again. Ever. 

 

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Texas Instruments calls it "A breakthrough design". Zune not available for comment.

 

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Remember all those old friends and phone numbers in your very first Hotmail account? Well you do now. Time to reconnect to that old middle school friend with three nipples who used to email you all that Dragonball Z hentai. Which you still have. 

 

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Because who else has this? Nobody.

Seriously. Nobody.

 

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Very! This can be demonstrated by using the simple equation Social Stigma + Parents' Upgrade Plan ÷ Number of Times You'll Accidentally Right Swipe The Wrong Girls On Tinder No Matter What Phone You're On = Windows Phone. 

 

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You're like the first caravan on the Oregon trail or the first man to popularize the belt buckle fanny pack. You're a pioneer, bro -- history be damned. 

 

and, finally:  

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Very easy, as a modern, gorgeous, futuristic paperweight. But hey, at least it doesn't run on Vista. 

 

*Individual user experience may be subject to not being so great.