There were a lot of things about Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire that made the Pokemon world way better for everyone--then there were these things.

1. Your father is pretty neglectful.

undefined

There is something that's really overlooked in the game. You finally have a dad. That's awesome. I can't help but feel bad for your mother though. He's a major city gym leader, but she stays home all alone in that empty house all the time. Literally. The game monitors time and whether you go there at 2:00pm or 5:00am, your father is in the gym waiting for challengers. With you out of the house now on your quest to be the best Pokemon trainer ever, someone's been left behind, and her name is MOM.

 

2. Steven Stone's a little...odd.

undefined

He's "bumped into you" six times before he meets you at the Pokemon League. Yeah, sure. First of all, if he was the League Champion you and everyone else in Hoenn should already know about him from TV or the news. I know who the president is. You should know the leader of the Pokemon League. Why is he hanging around you so much though? I mean I get it that he's the league champion and should be around the world helping to defend it from Team Aqua/Magma, but then just come out and say who you are and stop blaming it on the stones you're collecting, weirdo.

 

3. Sootopolis seems like a terrible place to live.

undefined

A city trapped within natural craters may seem safe and protected but it's actually the worst place in the world to live. Within its walls sleeps one of the craziest, deadliest Pokemon that has ever existed, capable singlehandedly destroy the world. The only thing keeping this beast at bay is that it's asleep. To have this giant natural wall around a Pokemon capable of such destruction is a great idea, but to populate it with tons of people and have them all live in fear or something simply waking up sounds like a terrible idea.

 

4. It's not just for battle-hungry violence lovers anymore!

undefined

With the third generation came a new concept. What if people in the world didn't all use Pokemon to fight. What if there was a Pokemon equivalent to America's Next Top Model. Well here you go, World. The Beauty Contest is here, its weird, but let's do it anyway!  Over 5 rounds, Pokemon moves are now graded on if they're Beautiful, Cool, Cute, Smart, etc. Who cares if Petal Dance doesn't do anything in battle, it's beautiful as hell in the world of the beauty contests. So fear not, you're not catching these wild animals to make them battle and hurt each other! You're capturing them to be snippy and passive aggressive to one another in a Beauty Competition, like adults.

 

5. Why go back home when there's caves and trees everywhere?

undefined

Your bed at home was padded, comfy, warm. You had a TV in there, and it was awesome, right? So now that you're an accomplished Pokemon trainer who's been battling Team Magma/Aqua day in and day out, let's give you a change of pace. Secret Power gives you the ability to hang out in a cave or a treetop by yourself surrounded by stuffed animals and pads that make musical notes! That could be kind of fun...I guess...