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This should be really obvious, but if you're clueless please remember this simple rule. "If you're draining the dong, talking is WRONG."

 

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Even if you're my boyfriend, we're deeply in love and we're about to adopt our second child I don't want you to see me dropping my drizzle.

 

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Please, please don't spill that human canola oil on me. Please!

 

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Honestly, how much piss are you leaking that you had to go to sleep? Was your liquid your HP and it just drained out?

 

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Doesn't matter if you came in crying or started crying midway. Get your act together, you baby.

 

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:(

 

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Food in a bathroom is wrong and we both know it, you sick fuck. But to be fair, that is extremely impressive.

 

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Food + Bathroom = You are a sick person and don't deserve nice things. How many times do we have to go over this?

 

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Unless your God is some sort of talking toilet (which is pretty rad), I'm pretty sure that's at least somewhat sacrilegious. If you have to make pees with your god, at least do it in the handicap stall.  

 

 

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Read Eat Pray Love on Your iPad, Nook, Kindle Fire.

 

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Just kidding, that's hilarious. Do it, I promise I won't tell anyone it was you.