undefined

 If you were to ask me to design something that's scientifically impossible to shave, I'm pretty sure I'd go to my laboratory, write some math equations on a chalkboard, boil some shit in a beaker, and emerge three days later with something that looks remarkably similar to a human scrotum. Nothing about it was meant to support a razor. It's shapeless, inconveniently located, and, because it just hangs there, has absolutely no pushback for your razor. Plus, I dunno if you know this, but the inside houses some very sensitive cargo, meaning any attempt to create pushback has the potential to hurt...a lot...Basically, God fucked up on this one.

 


undefined  

Based solely on my repeat viewings of According to Jim, I've come to the conclusion that guys spend a good portion of their lives worrying that something may harm their testicles. With that in mind, I find it strange that so there are so many men out there that willingly but razors to the area. It's not a place you want to nick yourself...Like, at all...

 

undefined

 Okay so hopefully nobody has so much ball hair that there's ever gonna be a huge mess, but that doesn't mean it's not a difficult mess. I don't know what it is about ball hair that makes it cling to everything it touches, but my current theory is that it's some form of demonic possession. Whatever it is, it ensures that no matter how much you clean, there's always gonna be at least two stray curlies left on your bathroom floor every time you shave.

 

undefined

Let's be honest: In the grand scheme of things, not a lot of people people are going to see your danglers. Of that small group, fewer still are gonna be in a position where they're so up close and personal with your genetalia that they'd be able to tell the difference between a freshly shorn nutsack and one that's completely unkempt, and at that point, I guarantee you nobody cares. Do you honestly think there's some woman out there who's gonna be like "Well I've consciously let this guy put his junk in my face, but now that I see that ball hair...I just dunno anymore." Of course not. That person doesn't exist.


undefined

 I don't care what you do to them. Shave them. Clean them. Dip them in gold and cover them in candy. Nothing you do is gonna make your balls look good. The best you can hope for is making them slightly less gross. So, the next time you think about grabbing your razor and taking a trip down to testicle town, stop and ask yourself: In the end, is it really worth it?

 

If You Liked This, You May Also Enjoy:

 The One Thing You Don't Want To Hear After Your Haircut

What You're Saying With Your Facial Hair

Six NEXT-LEVEL Shaving Techniques