A "Bowel Movement Bandit" is terrorizing the citizens of Akron, Ohio, leaving hot steaming dumps on random cars as some sort of twisted shit calling card. Crime of the century? Possibly.
So far, the turd layer has stuck on 19 different occasions, and Akron Police appear to be powerless to stop his shitting rampage. WEWS News is reporting that some residents first thought it was a dog, but then came to the conclusion that a dog wouldn't smear the crap all over the car door handle. Police are discussing whether some sort of DNA test is in order to track down the culprit, but in the meantime, they've set up this Poop Map of where he's struck.
The map is very similar to the kind that homicide detectives use to pinpoint where a serial killer might strike next, except different, ya know, cuz this guy's just dropping turds.