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Sure, you're old now, you took that film studies class one time and Grand Budapest Hotel is totally your favorite movie now. But... you just can't help it. It's a sunday, you're hungover and the only cure is to watch a movie that takes you back to simpler times. Times when making random noises and Rob Shnieder were still funny. Just... don't tell anyone you laughed at Eight Crazy Nights.

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Impressions suck because most people can't actually do them. No matter how much your father-in-law insists on telling you that dinner was "a-very niiiice", he'll never get anything more than a pitty laugh and you'll never feel anything more then the burning hot red of embarassment. OH but you're Christopher Walken impression is spot on though.

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You all have that friend, the one who knows the birthday of every cast member of Lost or what it was they called the rubber shark on the set of Jaws. Their deep, intense knowledge of useless and idiotic facts annoys you to no end. They arent even good facts! You know whats a good fact? Lorenzo Music, the voice of Garfield in the cartoon, was the voice of Bill Murrays character on The Real Ghostbusters cartoon and Bill Murray voices Garfield in the cartoon movie! Crazy right?!

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Ugh, mainstream pop music, am I right? I mean what kind of jaded, uncultured teens are we raising with this trash? Justin Bieber? One Direction? Give me some Neutral Milk Hotel any day. That 'Shake it Off' song is pretty catchy though...

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You'd never do it. It's disgusting, deplorable. Look at these losers from school. Conformists. Suit and tie... not you. You swore you'd never bow to the man. You'd do it your own way. You're going to study something cool like Graphic Novel Studies and write the next Watchmen. Change the world. Oh... that new Ford Focus looks nice though... and that 3D TV. How much? Better get a job.

 

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