1. Why did NO ONE think to evacuate the cities that the aliens were ominously hovering over?

Pictured: something that's totally fine, nothing to worry about.

Every major city on the planet apparently has one of these giant disc-shaped ships hovering over them...and no one even ATTEMPTS to evacuate them (well, until they figure out the aliens are hostile). I dunno about you, but if I saw a weird floating disc appear above MY cities, I'd probably tell people to play it safe and get the fuck out, regardless if the aliens are friendly or not. I mean, what if the aliens are just stupid and try to LAND the damn thing on top of the city? What if they can't understand our means of communicating with them and think WE'RE the hostile ones and attack? There are just too many possibilities to fathom in that kind of situation. And yet President Bill Paxton doesn't give the evacuation order until they start actively blowing our shit up.

Reminder: just because President Paxton gave ONE good speech (and did Spaceballs) doesn't make him a good president. He's still the dude who didn't evacuate any of his cities in time, missed the key shot to take down the aliens at the end (and force Randy Quaid into kamikaze-ing himself), and nuked a city for no reason.

 

2. Why are they loudly playing the news at a strip club?

"Better go to the strip club to watch the news!" - people in this movie, I guess

The fact that a strip club is even open as an enormous alien ship is hovering directly above the city is pretty crazy. No matter how much you love the smell of cigarettes and BO in a dank club with Vivica A. Fox doing some PG-13-style strippin', you're probably gonna be more concerned with the ALIENS HOVERING ABOVE YOU.

Still, it IS open...and they have the news on? Real loud, even? Maybe you should just not have your strip club open if you're also gonna actively try to distract your customers with news about the unspeakable doom everyone's about to incur. Kinda puts a damper on lap dances.

 

3. Why did the aliens bother probing Randy Quaid if their plan was to just blow up entire cities? Also, why release him back?

 Pictured: the most sane Randy Quaid has been in the past 30 years.

Completely central to Randy Quaid's character in ID4 (and yes, his name is Randy Quaid in this - I won't have any of that "Russell" bullshit) is the fact that he was abducted by these same aliens years ago, probed anally, and returned to Earth - where no one believed him.

And hell, why SHOULD they? From what we know about these aliens, they have pretty much zero cause to probe ANYONE anally - especially Randy Quaid. And let's say investigating Randy Quaid's butthole WAS central to their plans to destroy humanity and conquer Earth - these are not the most benevolent creatures. They're not nice. They want to eradicate humanity wholesale - so why would they RETURN HIM TO EARTH? Why not just take whatever they learned about his butthole and kill him?

Note: I'm aware of the possibility that whatever they found in Randy Quaid's butthole was too terrifying for their minds to handle, and returned him alive to Earth because they feared his butthole that much. I'm that afraid of Randy Quaid's butthole, and I've never even probed it.