Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Check Out These 10 Horrific Monsters of the Deep
June 29, 2015
1. Harlequin Shrimp
These Harlequin Shrimp are just waiting for an opportunity to do what they do best: murder the elderly.
2. Chromodoris Nudibranch
The Chromodoris Nudibranch got its name by exposing celebrity nudes on Google Chrome. Seriously? Have some respect for privacy you repugnant sea slug.
3. Roundbelly Cowfish
This repulsive amoral piece of bottom feeding scum is wanted for kidnapping orphans and feeding them to his pet sawshark.
4. Japanese Sawshark
This is the pet sawshark. Known mostly for relying orphan corpses for sustenance, this sorry excuse for organic life has a friggin' saw attached to his face like some sort of psychopathic serial killer. Time to acidify the ocean and rid ourselves of these cursed creatures!
5. Longhorn Cowfish
Don't be fooled by his dumb look, this two-faced turd-herding con artist has been posing as a gynecologist. I wish you could drown you sick creep!
6. Chambered Nautilus
What are the chambers for you ask? Harbouring an international sex trafficking operation of course! Let's continue to bleach the coral reefs and be done with these lawless degenerates.
7. Bigfin Reef Squid
These two Bigfin Reef Squid are real spectacles of horror. Pictured here right after they burned down two preschools.
This garbage lowlife miscreant has been forcing study abroad students to smuggle coacine in their butts for him. Here's hoping he gets caught in an abandoned fishing net.
9. Yellow Banded Pipefish
The yellow banded pipefish got it's name from, you guessed it, selling crack pipes at little league games. These vile beasts make me sick and deserve to be locked in pet store fish tanks forever!
"Oh, did I do that?" YES YOU DID. YES YOU DID MURDER THE CROCODILE HUNTER YOU SON OF A -
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.