1 Every day gets colder and darker

 

Every day in the Fall is objectively worse than the day before it. Obviously Winter days suck the most, but at least it's getting lighter each day after December. Fall is just one big long drawn-out leadup to the Winter ultrasuck.

 

Fall is like the stressful, agonizing buildup to Finals or going to the gym or something; in a way, at least when you're doing the actual worse thing (taking the test, running on the treadmill) it'll be over eventually.

 

 

All the classic Fall activities -- hayrides, apple picking, etc. (Actually I don't know what etc is here, I think the only Fall activities are those two things. Man, Fall sucks. But anyway) -- are stuff that people only do because they just "are" the Fall activities, not because they're anything anyone would actually consider doing any other time of the year.

 

Could you imagine in the middle of the summer during beach weather being like, "Hey, want to drive 90 minutes upstate to ride around a hilly farm? We can drink! Also we can drink here or literally anywhere else, but like, there is also hay!"

 

At least apple picking is seasonal; hay is sitting around all year and no one gives a shit except for like three specific weeks in October, when they suddenly the most give a shit. Drop the marketing act, Fall.

 

3 You are literally never ready for 4 pm sunsets, but complaining about it feels dumb

 

EVERY SINGLE YEAR when it gets dark out in the 4:00 range, it's miserable and your brain cannot wrap your head around the fact that it's literally pitch black out at 4:38 in the afternoon. But then if you try to complain, you sound like an idiot, because it happens every year and you should be used to it by now, but you're somehow not, and you begin to wonder how you ever made it through these five-month stretches of darkness in the past and question if your entire memory is actually a Matrix-esque manufactured reality and this current season is the first time you're ACTUALLY confronted these stupid sunsets because surely it wasn't THIS bad every year in the past, right?

 

IT'S DARK WHEN YOU LEAVE AND COME HOME??

 

4 When you show up late wearing a coat, everyone knows youre just walking in

 

When it's warm out and you sneak into work or class late, at least there's some plausible deniability about your lateness -- you could have arrived early, been there this whole time, then just briefly went to the bathroom, as you often do about 35 minutes into your workday, right?? But wearing your nylon pullover to the bathroom? Uh... maybe you get real cold when you take a shit? Ehh, nah, just admit you

 

This happens in Winter too, but at least then you can be like, "Sorry I'm late, everything was all, y'know, frozen and shit," and people will just accept it because they were also late because everyone was laying in warm bed for 30 extra minutes and no one judges anyone.



5 It is the farthest possible time away from nice weather

 

There's nothing wrong with some nice breezy, 50s sweatshirt weather! Except for the fact that every day is going to be this or way way worse literally every single day for the next five months.

 

'Sweater weather' is great when it's a break from crazy humidity, but it's not so great when it's a chilling harbinger of the season of frozen death you're plummeting towards.