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Listen, we've all been to our fair share of orgies - and after a few, you start to learn a few simple etiquette lessons that you can apply to basically any orgy you attend. Here are some quick tips for YOUR next group-sex night.



1. Always bring a towel.

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Listen - a lot of fluids are gonna be flying around at any given moment of an orgy, and you can't depend on the orgy host to have enough fresh towels for every person at the orgy. You don't want to be the guy mopping up fluids on your body with the communal jizz-mop, so just remember to bring your own towel.



2. Do NOT be the first one to arrive.

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You don't wanna be the one to START the orgy - and if you're the first to arrive, that's exactly what's going to happen. And maybe the only other people there are not ideal orgy partners, but you're going to be stuck banging them, because you just HAAAAD to arrive 5 minutes early. Early bird is stuck with the small-dicked worm, as orgy-goers say.



3. ...But also don't be the LAST.

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Oh wow - you do NOT wanna be a Johnny-Come-Lately to an orgy (or, uh, to be more orgy-specific, Johnny-C**-Lately). Everyone's already pairing off, and you're left with the scraps that no one else wanted. Late bird is stuck with the stinky-vagina'd-worm, as orgy-goers say.



4. Go to the bathroom beforehand.

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You don't want to be the guy or gal taking a loud dump when you're a guest at ANYONE'S house, let alone the house of an orgy. How many people are going to wanna give you a rimjob after you have a bout of diarrhea? Just Warren, but Warren's into some pretty weird stuff, so that doesn't really count.

The point is, make sure you take a shit at home before driving your Honda Accord to the orgy.