Being single isn't so bad - you don't have to buy stuff for anyone on Valentine's Day, you don't have to visit any in-laws, AND you don't have to watch any TV shows you don't wanna watch! You also don't have to have anyone to keep you warm and cuddled at night, or share intimate emotional moments with, or hold you when you're feeling low.
Anyways, here are some tweets that will distract you from your infinite loneliness, if only for a brief moment.
you: single because you suck-- KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead) June 1, 2016
me: single because other people are intimidated by how much smarter and more attractive & cooler i am, probably
when your girlfriend breaks up with you but still uses your netflix pic.twitter.com/fnzZKqTcTh-- ben taylor (@coolknifeguy) January 22, 2016
In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.-- Anastasia Kazakevich (@the_anastasia) November 6, 2015
That moment when you realize candy has a better love life than you. pic.twitter.com/XuB2vhCV8Q-- Ibrahim (@AwesomeIbrahim) December 27, 2015
My dating profile is just a picture of men fleeing.-- June O'Hara (@juneohara65) January 13, 2016
Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop.-- Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) January 1, 2016
the best thing about being single on valentine's day is I get to eat all 2 dozen of these roses by myself-- thomas violence (@thomas_violence) February 14, 2015
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats-- jade (@TheDreamGhoul) September 3, 2015
him: your single? why?-- Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message"-- Mae (@mzeld) January 10, 2015
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.-- Baby Swayze (@buhsbaby_baby) September 19, 2015
Pretty cute how my ex is trying to get me back by posting photos of him & his wife on their honeymoon.-- lauren caltagirone (@MrsRupertPupkin) October 18, 2011