It's easy to make people hate you, but there ARE ways to prevent loneliness.

Here are some guidelines to not make all your friends & family hate you on social media:

worst kinds of photos

I dont' care how beautifully plated your futurepoop is, unless you're a professional chef and someone is paying you to make it, DON'T POST IT. If anything, it's less of a celebration of your talent and more an indication of how poorly lit your dining room is.

worst kinds of photos

Airplane wings have become the de facto symbol of "I'm on my way to a magical vacation destination and you're sitting on a toilet at work feeling jealous." It's both cruel and unnecessary. Please Just wait until you've actually arrived at your destination, then by all means, bombard us with pictures of how amazing your life is. Just be wary to avoid snapping pics number 2, which is...

 

worst kinds of photos

Anyone taking the time to look at your vacation photos online is probably already judging your life pretty hard; and by uploading that sweet pic of you saving everyone's life by holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, you just remind them that not only do you quantify how well your vacation is going by the amount of social confirmation it receives, you're also not very clever or original. Either try harder, or don't try it all. We won't care either way.

 

worst kinds of photos

There is no way that your cracked iPhone 4 camera is going to be able to take a better picture than the professional photos of this artwork that appear in textbooks and google image searches across the world, but I guess I shouldn't fault you for trying!

Except I should, and I will. Shame on you for trying. Stop that. Stop it right now.

 

worst kinds of photos

It doesn't matter how well framed or lit it is, a landscape is scientifically the most boring thing you can take a picture of. Unless you plan on hanging a greyscale version of this photo in a hotel bathroom, it's not worth taking.

worst kinds of photos

We know what you look like. That's what profile photos are for. Unless you've got something new or interesting to show off in your selfie, please refrain.

 

worst kinds of photos

Giving the middle finger in a photo is the Instagram equivalent of cussing in front of your mom. No one is impressed, and even if no one gets offended, it makes you look like kind of asshole.

 

worst kinds of photos

There's no way your sunset picture is going to be better than the 2,000 I can find on any stock photo website. So maybe just try to enjoy it? Or if you're really craving the attention, shout at someone else until they enjoy it. That should should serve as a suitable social media surrogate and possibly make you a new friend (or enemy, depending on what you shout) win / win!

 

worst kinds of photos

Your memories of that concert you went to will always be worth more than the memory those shitty photos are taking up on your phone. Please. Stop. 

 

worst kinds of photos

Here's the deal, if you send me a .JPEEN file that isn't a crisp, well-lit, 300 DPI, Presidential-Grade Penis Portrait, I'm not looking at it. Sorry to nit-dick-pick, but that's just the way it is.