Candy is good and tasty. Candy is sweet and comforts. Candy is evil and lies. Candy is a LIAR. WHY ARE YOU A LIAR, CANDY? WE'VE EXPOSED YOU, CANDY, FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
2. Milky Way
4. Take 5
5. 3 Musketeers
7. Milk Duds
*(Which, by the way, is pronounced REES - IS. IT BELONGS TO A MAN OR WOMAN NAMED REESE. WHAT IS A REE-SEE, YOU ASS?)
Illustrations by Jesse "Who laid a finger on my Butterfinger?" Eisemann.