The Olympic Games are kicking off tonight at Rio, and based on a slew of concerning headlines involving muggings, super bacteria infested water, and construction projects left unfinished, people are expecting this year's games to be an enormous shitshow. I mean, things are so bad that they lost the key to the freaking gates and had to call the fire department to SNAP THE FREAKIN' LOCK OFF. Let's just hope there are medals to be given when its all said and done.
1. A lot of people have volunteered as tribute this year.
2. Here's hoping the games don't follow the plot of City of God.
3. At least Rio features a unique Pokémon GO ecosystem.
4. Australians, get your shit together.
5. Catching this guy might be a bad idea.
6. Perhaps a more fitting Olympic rings this year?
7. Maybe this one?
8. These all work. We could use 'em all.
9. Seriously take your pick.
10. Though the Rio logo could probably use an update too.
11. Gotta keep the mosquitoes away somehow.
And here's a couple of things stranger than fiction that have ACTUALLY HAVE HAPPENED.
Thieves got into mine and @magoomarjon's rooms here in Rio and stole CASH. Worst part is, we're staying in the official media village.-- Lia Cruz (@liadcruz) August 5, 2016