1. "Cool" parents

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In high school, Ryan's parents looked the other way when you smoked weed, bought you cigarettes, and didn't mind when you drank their alcohol. . Now it seems kind of sad they were so needy for teenage attention that they were cool with lying to other parents. By your standards now, the wildest nights wouldn't even be called a "party" ... just a sad hangout.


2. Dating someone in college

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Oh noooooooooooooo, why would anyone past high school age want to date a high schooler? In high school, you feel special and they seem sooo mature. Out of high school, you understand the maturity level differences and why those laws exist. You were just a baby with no life experience, and not enough life experience to realize you don't have any.



3. Hating your parents

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Ugh, those tyrannical monsters RUINED YOUR HIGH SCHOOL LIFE! They never let you DO ANYTHING FUN! And WHY?! Because of unconditional love and concern for your well-being. Oh. I guess they were right about all the things they warned you about too. Oh wait ... were YOU really the monster to THEM, the people who loved you more than anyone in the world? OH GOD, WHAT A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE.



4. Acting like an adult

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Most adults don't know how to act like adults. There's perks to learning mature communication and how to take care of yourself, but most of the other adult stuff? Save that until your college years or beyond. HOLD ONTO THAT YOUTH AND INNOCENCE FOR AS LONG AS YOU HAVE IT.



5. Underage tattoos

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Jen was sooo cool when she was the first person in your school to have a REAL tattoo at age sixteen. But now she's stuck with Bowling for Soup lyrics permanently across her chest until she dies. That coolness lasted all of ... two years, tops, and now she's still The Girl All the Bad Guys Want. Tattoos are cool and high schoolers' feelings and are valid, but you shouldn't think anything you feel in high school is permanent. And, sorry, but any tattoo artist that will tattoo someone who is underage will not be an artist whose work on your body for the rest of your life.


6. Being the class clown

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Tyler was SO funny when he served ZINGERS to that pushover Miss Croxall. She's SO boring and Troy makes class FUN! Plus that sex joke he just said was HILARIOUS and EDGY.

Oh wait, in retrospect, Tyler had behavior issues that caused him to act out during class. And you and your classmates' support of his antics drove sweet  Miss Croxall to cry herself to sleep with stress every night. And Miss Croxall was totally in the right to be disgusted by a 15-year-old speaking so crassly about sexual relationships.


Screw nostalgia, I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore.