How Donald Trump Thinks Nazi Germany Worked

Donald Trump is pissed at a series of leaked memos that implicate him and his associates in a number of charges, including communication with the Russian government and damaging information Putin may have on him - to the degree that he made the very reasonable tweet below:



It turns out that Donald Trump is right - this is exactly what Nazi Germany was all about, as the below dialogue between Hitler and Joseph Goebbels demonstrates:

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  1. HITLER

    Ach! Mein own intelligence agency leaked a report saying that I love being pissed on.

  2. GOEBBELS

    Ergh! If only we could do something!

  3. HITLER

    I wish we could, but we can't! As Hitler, I am helpless to do anything about people in my own government undermining me. It's not like I have a secret police or anything that would imprison or murder anyone who angered me. And now intelligence agencies leaking reports that the leader loves being pissed on is the main thing everyone will remember about Nazi Germany.

  4. GOEBBELS

    Totally, definitely not a fascist regime that had complete control over all aspects of government and society and the mere idea that an intelligence agency would release damaging information about the leader is basically the complete opposite of the actual situation.

  5. HITLER

    Also the Holocaust.

  6. GOEBBELS

    Yes, also that, that's definitely not something people associate Nazi Germany with. Only how your own intelligence agencies undermined you by revealing how much you loved piss.

  7. HITLER

    In the future, when someone says "This is just like Nazi Germany," the thing people will naturally assume they're referring to is intelligence agencies reporting that the leader loves golden piss streaming down his face.

  8. GOEBBELS

    Yep - if people associated Nazi Germany with the horrors of racial genocide, fascism, or brutal, world-consuming wars of aggression, any future person comparing their situation of dealing with rumors about loving piss would look incredibly petty and stupid to compare their situation with being in Nazi Germany.

  9. HITLER

    That is COMPLETELY true. Luckily, people DON'T associate Nazi Germany with anything except memos about loving piss.

  10. GOEBBELS

    Absolutely correct, Hitler. Now let's go get pisssed on.