Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Thirsty Moms Everywhere Wanna Get Dirty with Mr. Clean
March 20, 2017
I know what you're thinking right now: "uh, excuse me? Does MY mom want to do weird shit with this chiseled, shiny-headed bald janitor?"
The answer is yeah, probably.
There seems to be an interesting trend going on with the new revamped version of the mascot from Super Bowl LI and that trend is mothers SINCERELY wanting Mr. C's D.
These ladies are all about watching Mr. Clean buff their countertops in his tight
check out my nippies" white undershirt while they tightly grip a bottle of cleaning product close to their chest.
But let's be real here, the people behind his social media team are ALL about getting moms to fantasize about his ultra-clean pecs, just look at their advertising:
"Oh Mr. Clean, you missed a spot, and that spot is in my underwear (you know that special pair that sags in the back with the worn-out elastic because I'm a mother of 5 and I don't have time for this shit."
I mean, dang, they're practically asking moms to wipe down their dildo collection with his EXTRA DURABLE (uh, CONDOMS ANYONE) magic eraser.
But hey, don't take our word for it, just check out the comment section of his Facebook:
His fans are so loyal they're willing to fight for a chance to rub that naked dome:
They're even ready for marriage.
So sexy, Barbara could literally die.
They just can't get enough!
RIP to all moms out there.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.