Swipe it like it's hot.

1. Wait do you have the number for your big grey friend, though?

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via myaarr

2. Sorry, I don't negotiate with terrorists.

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via thatguyfromlasvegas

3. Your horoscope for today is getting boned by the horoscope.

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via Noobsicles

4. Throw in a shoe shine free o' charge gov'nah!

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via The_WA_Remembers

5. These will be the vows I write on my wedding day.

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via DARKSTARMEDIA

6. If we don't talk about it, who will?

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via yellowcarpet

7. This ain't a Tinder profile, it's a goddamn arms race.

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via SeeemsLegit

8. Doctors orders.

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via LusciousJohnny

9. Do you have a popcorn setting?

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via PGids

10. They do say that.

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via AlexTweaks

11. Crushed. Just absolutely crushed.

Tinder Profiles Guaranteed to Get a Laugh

via jordanr1369

12. No man is as cool as this man. 

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via borninbrit