Get ready for a lil laugh or two because we've got some medium-notch tweets that should entertain you adequately.
1. Wow. Deep.
Guys. I'm here to red-pill you all.-- Lawrence Miles (@Lawrence_Miles) October 8, 2017
You've never heard the actual Monster Mash. You've just heard a record *about* the Monster Mash.
2. He is truly unstoppable.
Congratulations to the winner of the Nobel Prize for economics: this guy, for the 80th year in a row pic.twitter.com/Gs2SZVHtgt-- Sixsixsixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) October 9, 2017
not all superheroes.... pic.twitter.com/vd1HWWtPpn-- sasha (@sashadaisical) October 8, 2017
4. Also you're not a train at all! Misleading!
[neil degrasse tyson at a Train concert]-- dan mentos (@DanMentos) October 9, 2017
JUPITER IS A GAS GIANT YOU CAN'T HAVE DROPS OF IT
[fighting off security]
MORE LIKE DROPS OF STUPIDER
5. Same goes for commercials with alarm beeps. Pretty sure every human hates that noise.
Dear Commercials,-- Busted Flip Flops (@GrillinChillin9) October 9, 2017
Quit making commercials that have a house doorbell ring. Thanks.
Every single owner of a dog
6. Perfect response.
7. Crazy that this is seriously an option.
If you haven't confirmed your phone number on Twitter, do not even bother liking or retweeting my tweets, you are WORTHLESS to me pic.twitter.com/qlQMZfHO4Z-- Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) October 9, 2017
8. A very odd choice.
statue of a boy and his dog in the park and they made sure to include the dog's substantial penis pic.twitter.com/qa8GOzVtuc-- Honored Spirit (@HonoredSpirit) October 7, 2017
9. That is a good son.
My son is playing by himself in his room and he is narrating his imaginary play activities in a voice like a French Werner Herzog: "We open ze barrel of monkeys, and we find zem all dead inside. Ze worst discovery of all. Who has done zis to zeese monkeys? Who is zis monster?"-- geodie's geoumpsuit (@JodiesJumpsuit) October 8, 2017
10. Let's all shave our heads and freak out together.
This semester has helped me realize that Britney Spears shaving her head was an appropriate and rational reaction to stress-- what (@chanelpuke) October 9, 2017
Oh sure we'd LOVE to sell you a $3.50 pumpkin, but I'm not going back to prison for you. pic.twitter.com/1BABSMGD1k-- Lemon 🍋 (@AhoyLemon) October 8, 2017
12. Still catchy.
"She's a good girl, loves her horses. Loves horses. And horses, too." - if Freefallin' was written about me in 6th grade-- Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) May 10, 2016