Secrets, secrets are no fun, secrets are for everyone (especially the ones that are insanely filthy.)

Most of us prefer our nasty little secrets to be kept hidden away from sight, but the people over at /r/AskReddit are ready to share the dirty deeds that make them the most proud. 

I mean honestly, is there anything more entertaining to read than someone sharing their risqué business? If you don't believe us, just keep scrolling. 

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1. latexshitlord is doing God's work: 

A few times a year, I translate hentai Jap->Eng so that other people can enjoy the story too.

2. dis_ABLED has a leg sized dong: 

I'm a hip disarticulate amputee on my left side, meaning they took the entire leg. I just have a fleshy lump there, right up next to my crotch.

This means I get to say my dick is longer than my left leg as a factual statement. There are very few good things about being an amputee, so I take what I can get.

3. DeepDarkTruth almost gets the cops called: 

I once made my college girlfriend scream so much and so loud during an orgasm that her downstairs neighbor - a kind, elderly woman - came upstairs, rapped on the door and insisted that if she didn't hear my GF's voice immediately, she was gonna call the cops. We both lay in bed, laughing as my GF reassured her that she was quite well, thank you.

After that, she tended to cram a pillow or stuffed animal in her mouth to muffle the sound effects. LOL

4. john-buoy goes fist deep: 

I once fisted two guys at the same time.

It's not even a turn on for me. But I was drunk as fuck and after a night out a friend asked me to go to this "sex dungeon". I was wandering around the rooms and stumbled on two guys with their asses in the air.

When in Rome, eh?

5. mnemoquix had a close relationship with their landlords: 

I rented a room from a quiet couple in their mid-30s during my uni years and I got involved with them after I found out they're both swingers. The husband is a dom, the wife and I are switches. I didn't even realise I am attracted to women until I met them.

Apart from the d/s-ing, monthly swinger parties and sex, mostly me and her, he enjoyed watching was but sometimes get involved when she and I asked nicely. They're pretty good landlords.

She cooked all the time, I did too when I'm free and she helped me reviewed my uni work because she's a doctor in what I studied. He and I would go to pubs together and have a good time but mostly he taught me how to survive in this competitive world, how to deal with stress and how to manage my finance. They attended my graduation and celebrated my Master and PhD.

It's almost 10 years since I moved and even though I still keep in touch with them (no sex, but as friends), I still miss them a lot. They were my mentors and sex was just a bonus.

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6. facelesscog marvels at nature's beauty. 

On our honeymoon, my wife gave me a blowjob while I was standing at the window to our hotel room, looking out over Niagara Falls (Canadian side). To this day, I'm proud to say that I've received a bj while looking down on one of the natural wonders of the world.

7. JamesTheMannequin goes to church: 

In high school, my girlfriend blew me in her churches storage room in front of a big statue of Jesus. The lord was kind that day.

8. armoredapron has a friend with benefits: 

a friend i had the hots for in high school, comes to visit me at college.

i didn't know at the time she was really quite the sex fiend, so i couldn't comprehend how the normal visit had turned into an ear-biting kiss fest.

an hour later, she was blowing me behind the train station, and we just froze anytime people walked by. i'm sure from our silhouette it was obvious what was going on though.

after the whole thing ends with her swallowing and hopping on the train home, i was so disturbed/ astounded by what happened, i ended up telling my roommate everything. i mean i was friends with this girl, and suddenly everything's different.

my roommate looks at me: "man, i wish had a friend who'd blow me too."

9. HowardJoelWolowitz loves citrus: 

My gf put a grapefruit on my wang once.

I have to delete this before she sees it.

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10. soda_cookie gets frisky at work: 

I fucked my then girlfriend now wife on the conference room table of an old job one night. Boss held a training class in there the next day.

11. djewok has a gas: 

I once farted as I got on a packed train in London. I knew it was a killer but played it cool. The doors closed behind me and 10 seconds later a girl sitting next to her boyfriend hits him and shouts YOU'RE DISGUSTING!

12. LdouceT peaked young: 

My first blowjob was from two girls at the same time. I think I set the bar a little too high a little too early.

13. totallynotsarah will kiss and tell: 

I can orgasm from kissing lol

14. Some_of_us is naughty in the office: 

I'm currently in a 'friends with benefit' situation with one of my senior manager. It started with a drunken night out and now we fuck pretty much every day. It's quite awkward in the office because she is my boss's boss and during our business review meetings my face goes red when she asks me something.

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15. LimeRikki plays more than pool: 

When I was in college, I lived in a dorm that had a pool table room. One night, I was drunk with my then boyfriend, and we stumbled in there at around 3AM to have sex. We ended up stripping down totally, not really caring about our nudity since the dorm was dead that night. While we were doing the deed, we ended up on the ground on the non-door-facing side of the table, and almost immediately, someone opens the door and turns the light on. Ex and I freeze, I turn my head to look under the table and see their feet freeze as they see our clothes scattered everywhere. Not a noise was made, no one moved, complete awkwardness for what felt like for ever (aka about 7 seconds). The other guy just turned the light off and backed out, and we never got caught.

Edit: Mmkay, we got caught obviously, but I more meant that they never found out who we were. Trust me, we would have heard it from SOMEONE in the dorm.