"Always check your Halloween candy because someone might have put drugs in there!"
Drugs are expensive. No one is giving that shit away for free to children! But I still check my kids' candy for open wrappers just in case there's any funny business...and Reese's Cups.
"Go to college, I'll pay for it."
My $39K debt says otherwise.
That if I don't have my life figured out by the time I'm 25 then I have some serious problems.
"Most people on the internet are dangerous weirdos!"
Most people on the internet are really fucking ordinary people.
That high school will be the best years of your life.
At 31 I have to say those were the worst 4 years of my life.
Get a Bachelor's Degree and you are set for life as far as a job/career is concerned.
"It will all make sense when you're older." Fuck that, everything makes even less sense. Now I'm older and expected to be independent and STILL don't understand half the shit I need to accomplish that successfully.
Never give out your personal information online.
Now that's all the internet is. Everyone's personal information
You don't need work experience; grades will be enough.
That might have been OK in the past but then the global financial crisis hit and employers became much fussier.
You don't want to end up like me with a union labor job. You need to go to college.
You need to define yourself by your job. I wasn't told this directly but we live in a culture of dream jobs or people asking "what's your job" when they meet you. My work is cool but it's just work. My hobbies are what I define myself around.
"You won't have a calculator everywhere you go."
Guess what Mrs. Diaz, I have a portable computer with access to the internet that fits in the palm of my hand.
I'm still trying to figure out if I'm a millennial or not.
Update: I think I'm a millennial.