We all know the Nice Guy™ trope: the dude who treated a woman with basic human decency and now feels entitled to a blowjob, or at the very least a close up picture of her feet (I mean he DID hold the door open for you, harlot).
We also all know that these guys are not so nice or charming, or anything they describe themselves as while they tip their fedora.
The only thing their owed is this callout post dedicated to their man-child tendencies.
1. lostmysoultothedevil goes on an unexpected coffee date:
I forgot my wallet while standing in line at the cafe. I ordered and realized my wallet missing so I said I'll just zip out to my car and pay when I got back...I was parked right outside. This guy behind me says he'll pay for my drink and I tried insisting I would pay but he pulled out cash and paid before I could really do anything.
I said Thank you and chatted while waiting for my drink. I was on my way somewhere so as I'm leaving he leaves too and asks if he can have my number. I was honest and said I was on my way to see my boyfriend. This guy just fucking snaps, grabs my coffee, throws it across the street and tells me I'm leading him on and I'm a fucking bitch and then he storms off.
I iust went to my car and got my wallet and bought my own coffee. The owner saw the whole thing and told me he's now banned from the cafe. Apparently he'd done similar shit with other women and this was the last straw.
2. cactoidjane totally lead someone on:
First guy I ever dated; we were ~15. I told him I was still figuring things out and wanted to take things slow. He showed up with a dozen roses on our second date. I told him it was too much, and I was uncomfortable, but he refused to take them back. We hung out a few times, but I just wasn't that into him. I said didn't want to keep dating; we should just be friends. He said okay but then gave me a "goodbye" book that he'd hidden jewelry inside, and he refused to take that back, too. If he texted, I kept things friendly and jokey, never saying anything romantic. I tried to avoid him and even sent him a crappy poem as only teen me could write to tell him to forget about me because I liked someone else (which was true).
Sometime later, it's prom season. He asks another girl, then finds out I haven't been asked yet, so he offers to dump her for me. I say it won't be fair to her and refuse. (I also really don't want to go with him, but I'm too scared to say this to his face.) He's super pissed at prom because I went with a guy he hated (and that guy turned out later to be a jerk, but oh well. Still wouldn't have driven me into my first date's arms).
Years later, when we are both in college, I go home for a reunion. A girl asks me, "Hey, cactoidjane, first date used to talk to me about you. I always wondered, why were you leading him on?"
3. ruggpea should get a tattoo:
Story time: Nice guy had a huge crush on our mutual friend but the feelings weren't returned. They never dated, this is important to the story. He was still interested and still is. I managed to get dragged into this as both sides were talking to me about the situation.
Recently, our friend got a very small tattoo on her arm and nice guy freaks out. "What is that thing on your arm? Is it temporary? Are you going to keep it? I'm sorry I can't deal with this now"
Friend is confused and upset. They end up talking again and he says "either remove it or I won't be your friend anymore. I can't be friends with anyone who has body art. I'll even give you money towards it, just consider what I said"
Friend then talks to me about it, I try to get nice guy to change his mind but he says he won't budge. She makes peace with her decision that they'll won't be friends anymore, which he then turns around and is shocked she chose to keep the tattoo and kept saying "this is the only thing I'll ask you to do" then realised she didn't want to be friends with him anymore. He then changed his mind and decided he still wanted to be friends cos blackmailing her to remove the tattoo didn't work. He honestly believed that she'd remove the tattoo for him. He now blames me for this mess and demanded I fix it. Naturally, I ghosted and haven't bothered with him since.
Tl;dr. Nice guy has a huge crush on a girl. Girl doesn't feel the same. Girl gets tattoo. He demands she removes it or he'll stop being her friend. She keeps the tattoo. I got dragged into it and now me and the girl no longer talk to him and he blames me for the whole situation.
4. dictatorAngel and the not-so-secret admirer:
The worst "Nice Guys" are the ones who don't give up. It's one thing to turn someone down and have them back off, but I've had some people who refuse to give up. I think a lot assume that they will eventually win you over like some kind of rom com but it's usually just creepy.
A guy who lived in my dorm my freshman year of college professed that he loved me one day because it was killing him seeing me get close with another one of our friends. I let him down but he continued to pursue me for the next 6 months. He wrote me poems and would play me songs that reminded him of me, and would tell me I'm beautiful and perfect in Italian (a language we share) when other people were present. He even told me that he didn't know if he could live without me and mind of threatened to harm himself if we didn't date.
Even when I started dating someone else this behavior continued until he decided there was another girl he was in love with.
It gets kind of scary when people confuse obsession for love.
5. HarbingerofGloom has a close call:
A self-proclaimed "Nice Guy" asked me out in high school. We had never spoken once or even sat next to each other (we shared one class, but he was on the other side of the room). He asked me out, I said I wasn't allowed to date, he kept persisting and telling me that we could sneak around. I told him I was not interested in dating him or anybody else and that I just wanted to focus on school. He flipped my desk over and told me I was a bitch and I should have said "yes" because he'd treat me well. You know, because he was so nice he just flipped my desk over for saying "no" to him.
He drove past my house for a while. I think he followed my school bus in his car. The drive-bys continued for a few weeks. And hang up calls. Finally he left me alone for about a month. He stalked 2 girls after me, pulled a knife on one. Her dad was the sheriff. Police found a few knives and a hit list in his locker with dozens of girls' names on it and I was #3. He went away for a while, but came back towards the end of the year (I don't know how this was even allowed, but it was over 20 years ago). The school told us girls to avoid being alone in the halls and to avoid him. That was it. I was going home sick one day between classes and was getting my things from my locker and he popped out of nowhere and asked me if I was sick, I said I was and to please leave me alone, and he said "Good, I hope you die!" and slammed my locker door on me. The tiny, elderly school secretary heard him and came to my rescue and chased him off. After that he was booted from our shared class, but allowed to finish the school year.
6. opxum goes on a pity date:
I've had multiple run ins with Nice Guys™️ but one that really stands out to me happened when I was in my early teens.
I started talking to him because his seat was across from mines in class, and he was easy to talk to. After about a week, he sent me multiple long Facebook poems about how I'm the most beautiful Asian girl he's ever met, and how meeting me has changed his life. Not through a PM - but posted on my wall. At the time, I knew that shit was wrong on multiple levels but didn't really know WHY, so I kind of ignored how creepy it was altogether.
I shot him a PM and told him in the best way I could that I didn't feel that way about him, but I thought the poems were lovely and appreciated it. He flipped out on me, accusing me of using him and leading him on which actually guilted me into going on a date with him because I really did feel awful. The date was awkward, I couldn't get into it, or him. We barely talked and he would barely even look me in the eye!
I told him the same night I didn't think we could be more than friends and... the next day he spread rumours about how I sucked his dick on the date. When I STILL wouldn't date him after those rumours had spread, he basically went on a Facebook rampage about how women are sluts that pass on nice guys like him constantly.
Yeah. Fun times.
7. PrincessWhiffleball has had a few bad encounters:
There's levels of nice guys, so I have a lot of different stories.
The most draining have been guys who just unload all of their emotional baggage because they don't know who else/don't have anyone else to tell those problems to. Then they get mad when you turn them down, "how can you do that after everything I've told you??" But they're also the guys who never even bothered asking how I was.
Then, there's the guys that yell sexually explicit and offensive things at you in public when you turn them down.
Absolute worst situation though was when I was abroad, getting a cab home at the end of a party, when a stranger hopped into the cab with me saying he lived close by. Told the driver his address, and laughed at me when I argued back saying to go to my house first. Then got out of the cab at my house, tried coming in, finally got scared off by my host dog. He had the nerve to ask if he was bugging me, yeah dude, go away now.
8. george-bonanza shuts a guy down and up:
I'm a barista. I had a regular ask me out a while back. He's kind of a creepy guy who has a reputation for being a "starer" and likes to try to make small talk with the women there even when they're obviously busy doing their fucking jobs. I try to avoid talking to him as much as I can but he seems mostly harmless.
When I rejected him, he went on this tirade about how all women are shallow and I only turned him down because he's fat. Note that I'm engaged and wear a ring, so he was barking up the wrong tree in the first place. I basically told him that he was the shallow one because he only asked me out because he thinks I'm pretty, given that I'm not even nice to him. Shut him up. 😌
ETA: this blew up unexpectedly- I want to make it clear that by "starer" I mean that he stares at everyone's tits in a very obvious and inappropriate way. Also small talk is usually appreciated! But if I'm rushing around trying to get my work done I don't want to hear about the weather for the millionth time. Especially since when other customers have to wait, they get angry at me, not you. 😬
9. greffedufois dodged a bullet:
Probably a guy I was talking to online for a bit. We met in person and watched some movies, it was okay. Eventually he asks about my history, and I hadn't yet had sex so I said that I wasn't ready for it yet.
Later on he tells me that if we start dating (after one date) he'll deserve and expect sex from me. I told him fuck right off.
Can happily say I'm now married to a actual nice guy, who'd never act like that much of an entitled creepy ass.
10. ratchnad gets stalked:
I had a class with a guy.
We worked on a project together in my first year of uni, and he confided in me about some of his issues and I felt really bad for him.
He sat beside me in class and started messaging me every day, and it was honestly exhausting. I told him I had issues of my own so I wasn't the best person to talk to, and he should seek out a counsellor, etc.
Over the next few years he started coming up to me more in person in common areas of the campus. I'd politely tell him I had stuff to do and I'd rather work alone, so he'd sit beside me silently until I'd leave. I found him following me around campus on multiple occasions too. I started to realize I should probably limit messaging him back even if it was to tell him "leave me alone" so I wasn't giving him something to hold on to. So, I started outright ignoring his daily hellos as much as it made me feel bad.
About a year later in the year 4 class we took together he kept turning around and staring at me I swear every 30 seconds. He did it so much that other people in the class started asking me about it. Then one day we were supposed to get up and pitch an idea for a video. He gets up there, pitches his idea then PULLS UP AN IMAGE OF MY FACE and says "I want ratchnad to play the lead part" as he clicks through a couple more slides of pictures of me stolen off Facebook.
I was mortified. I'm a very quiet and shy student so I had no idea what to do, I just slunk down in my seat and prayed no one looked at me. After that a good guy friend of mine talked to the guy and told him how uncomfortable he was making me. He seemed to get the message after that- probably because it was another guy saying it.
He never got outright aggressive but his behaviour was definitely upsetting to me. I even started to get scared he was following me home so I never listened to music on the bus or on my walk. I did on multiple instances tell him that I didn't want to talk, he was making me uncomfortable, I had a boyfriend etc. but I should have just been mean to send a clear message. I definitely could have handled it better, but I didn't want to be rude to him because he was clearly troubled.
11. petshopboi is a stuck-up prude:
This guy on Tinder asked for nudes (after we had talked for a bit), I said no and asked him if this tactic he used to try to get me to send him had ever worked and he sent me like an essay on how I was the worst person on the planet and something about how I thought I was better than him. Let's just say I deleted Tinder that night.
12. Have_you_read_it can't take a friggin' compliment:
When I get complimented, and I say thanks, and they continue the compliments but they gradually get creepier. Finally, when I tell them I'm uncomfortable with those comments because I have a bf (but in reality its because they're freaking the hell out of me) they get all defensive saying that they just like giving a compliment where a compliment is due and I'm ungrateful.