Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
14 Tinder Users Who Are Definitely Getting Laid Today
February 14, 2018
We all know that Valentine's Day is just a shitty Hallmark Holiday designed to make single people feel like dogshit for being alone.
But, we gotta admit, it's kinda nice to have someone around on this manufactured day of love, especially if that means *KA-CHING* getting to stick a hotdog into a toasty warm bun.
So, to all you Tinder-ers out there looking for some on V-Day, remember: there's plenty of desperate people getting it in just in time for boxes of cheap chocolate from Rite-Aid, so there's hope for you too!
1. Kassandra wants the D.
2. He's got the moves like Jenner.
3. His pick-up line is with billieons.
4. Stop, HAMMER TIME!
5. Let's taco bout going on a date!
6. A truckload of flirting.
7. Oooh, she made you say it!
8. That's a bold strategy, Cotton.
9. She's full of somethin' else.
10. Wonder if she rides bareback.
11. When it rains, it pours.
12. A tailor-made pick-up line.
13. Every heard of Netflix and cry?
14. This is what we like to call doggy style.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.