These guys wouldn't make if five seconds in the desert with all this thirst they're lugging around.

Ironically, they do bare a resemblance to the cacti of these arid climates except they're hold no water and are ten times the prick. 

It's not a great look, fellas, and you gotta know by now that these pervtastic tactics don't ever have a pay off. Unless, you count the times they worked in your mirage fantasy. 

1. Now rub the lotion on the skin!

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via CiriZireael

2. Extreme thirst is a symptom of his disease. 

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via Rebel99Belle

3. What a great way to cheer someone up. 

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via Rasdy

4. 

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via Oridaoreo

5. Not creepy AT. ALL. 

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via bunnieslayer

6. He sounds like a real winner. 

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via VortexThing

7. Well, are you?! are you!!?

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via Vidmax

8. He still haunts women's DMs to this very day. 

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via scrambled_debutante

9. Not even if you sent the same message three more times. 

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via realasfiction

10. I treat my women like a treat my clients: with a passionless exchange of money.

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 via 14u123n

11. This reads like a poem. 

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via Ch00balicious

12. UNCLE NO. 

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via The_Iron_Grip

13. I was just ASSking a question! 

Dudes Who Are Thirstier Than a Man Stranded in the Gobi Desert

via kissmypenguin

14. Literally thirsty. 

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via throwaway19595