1. Can your second promise to me be to chill the fuck out

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via fade1r

2. Why have we not given this man a congressional Medal of Honor

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via japanesepoolboy16

3. And now all of you can do the same in the comments of this Facebook group

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via SynchronizedRapture

4. Can your sword cut through radiation poisoning?

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via Cheycandy

5. You should use those bad boys to give yourself a lil shave 

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via ThatWerewolfTho

6. Siri what is the worst possible neighborhood to live in

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via Malfaisance

7. My life, my love, and my lady...is the blade

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via kaneda_nz

8. Idk dude I don't really think people need to use swords anymore

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via Pfafen

9. I don't think that's what Snoop was talking about in the song

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via RiidoDorito

10. This is a man I don't want knowing my secrets

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via Simranjit16

11. Reading this has consumed 130% of my power

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via ThatWerewolfTho

12. Melatonin might be the move tbh

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via vrishchikaa

13. Crazy the police laughed at you there is nothing funny about this

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via TheHoboExpress

14. He better not touch my goddamn Litecoin at least

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via Jmscrvnts