I just won an Oscar. WTF?!?-- Jordan Peele (@JordanPeele) March 5, 2018
Didn't have the time to watch the 2018 Oscars yourself? Or even the time to scroll through your own timeline for funny riffs on it? Well don't worry friend we've got your back.
1. How come, Chief Seacrest?
Sustainability win! Tonight's red carpet is made out of three recycled billboards. pic.twitter.com/3PzuTNxpFj-- Daniel Spenser (@DanSpenser) March 4, 2018
2. If you haven't already read, please, you must
he was baby driver, their existence is an affront to god--please welcome ansel elgort and barbra streisand's dog clones-- dan chamberlain (@amfmpm) March 5, 2018
3. *every red carpet interviewer proceeds to ask about diversity
If one more person ask me about diversity imma diversify my bitch slappin technique-- Darius (@lakeithlakeith) March 5, 2018
4. Gilly was fucking snubbed this year
Congrats to Allison Janney, the first actor to win an Oscar for playing an SNL character!-- Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) March 5, 2018
5. Hollywood rules
oh cool -- Kobe Bryant won the oscar that BB-8 presented-- Matt Barats (@MattBarats) March 5, 2018
6. Listen, she's not wrong
7. Listen, he's not wrong
Armie Hammer looks like the default male in the "create a character" screen of an RPG-- Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) March 5, 2018
8. True method acting. Take note, Daniel Day-Lewis
Rooting 4 my sister at the oscars!!-- Patti Harrison (@Party_Harderson) March 5, 2018
She played the deer in 3 billboards.
She said Francis was actually really goofy and they had to do a bunch of takes cuz Francis kept crackin up my sis and she couldn't get thru her lines! Love to hear when a celebs nice!
My sister is a deer
9. THIS THING IS FRIGGIN RIGGED!!
Of course Dunkirk wins for sound editing--no contest. But sound mixing!? Is this a joke?-- David Wain (@davidwain) March 5, 2018
10. Youda man GDT
Guillermo Del Toro seems like the kind of guy who you could tell your most weird-ass, creepy secret to, and he would just kind of shrug and say "OK"-- Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson (@MaraWilson) March 5, 2018
11. Drop the "Ebbing". Make it just "Missouri"
"Two Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri isn't cool. You know what's cool?" pic.twitter.com/d4zFzgp4e7-- Achilles Stamatelaky (@astamate) March 4, 2018
12. Hmmm do I detect hints of peach?
My favorite wine is a 1965 Timothee Chalamet.-- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 5, 2018
How did this not win best costume? pic.twitter.com/JvVd96HFq9-- Peter Kelly (@PeterKelly25) March 5, 2018
15. *Sufjan Stevens inspired bass solo
16. Hey did you know Willem Dafoe has a massive dick
Willem Dafoe is always playing the Green Goblin a little bit-- Jesse David Fox (@JesseDavidFox) March 5, 2018
17. Gonna give Streep a run for her goddamn money
Why are we even pretending like we don't know who's going to win Best Supporting Actress tonight? pic.twitter.com/bdE7VtD0ld-- patrick cotnoir (@patrickcotnoir) March 4, 2018
18. Who needs an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay anyway
The Big Sick came in second!-- Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) March 5, 2018
19. Hingle McCringleberry got fucking snubbed
Oscar winner pic.twitter.com/lEiK3jq1jj-- BUM CHILLUPS (@edsbs) March 5, 2018
20. Because there's not enough Shrek representation at these events
21. GET IN MAH BELLY, OSCAR
congratulations to gary oldman for his stunning performance as fat bastard-- demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) March 5, 2018