1. Please take me out, the stinky smelly garbage.
Honestly, this feels good pic.twitter.com/Gu1z09eSi1-- Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) March 6, 2018
2. Something doesn't feel right.
when you get bad vibes from someone but you can't justify your dislike for them because they haven't technicalIy done anything wrong pic.twitter.com/uuKuO3b8GO-- what (@chanelpuke) March 6, 2018
3. Laughs? Nah, not for me.
ive never laughged at a piss joke. (sees how impressed everyone is, takes it one step further) in fact, ive never laughed before in my life.-- wint (@dril) November 19, 2015
4. She needs her own show.
We don't talk enough about how in the Flintstones closing credits, the waiter at the drive-thru has preposterous strength in that she can carry an *enormous* rack of ribs that is heavy enough to topple a car with stone wheels and also at the present moment has 8 passengers. pic.twitter.com/VqT6kdiyu3-- Max Dylan Ash (@mynameisntdave) March 4, 2018
5. Yeah the choice is clear.
Well no shit pic.twitter.com/LgAu3PjxDZ-- joe (@JoeOBrien444) March 5, 2018
6. You see what you want to see.
glancing at this I really thought these were sexy legs pic.twitter.com/vTc9JVgFo6-- Michael Pielocik (@michaelpielocik) March 5, 2018
7. I'd read it.
I'd work out but I ate too much for lunch and I'm full.*-- Jewel Staite (@JewelStaite) March 6, 2018
*also a strong contender for title of my memoir
8. We're all freaks.
All of our public service industries are vaguely kinky. Police use handcuffs, paramedics shock people, firefighters slide down poles. I think we're going to see a judge using a dildo as a gavel by 2020.-- Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) March 6, 2018
9. Uhh, it's my *arm* I need in the bear trap thank you very much.
Y'all shame 'Vanilla' sex all the time on here but it's amazing when both people enjoy it. It's not my fault you gotta have your leg in a bear trap and get punched in the face to cum. Relax.-- Lv. 33 Barbarian w/ Add-On DLC (@TimAintCool) February 26, 2018
10. I'll report this to the police, but maybe like...tomorrow?
When you've got enemies but are also lonely pic.twitter.com/GPtSW4msZ4-- Annie Lederman (@annielederman) February 27, 2016
i blew my horn at the car ahead of me and this angry Alpaca popped out and now I don't know what to do pic.twitter.com/MrpmlPkjra-- Evan (@NotEvansPosts) March 5, 2018