Sometimes when we order food, we just want a good ole fashioned plate. Not a stone, not a cutting board, not a miniature shopping cart, but the tried and true plate. Sometimes chefs try to think outside the box, but how about we try to limit that to the food itself, not its serving dish.

1. You know what my normal salads lack? Dirt.

2. Just because it's somewhat bowl shaped does not make it a bowl.

3. I love watching the underside of my chin as I shovel meats into my mouth.

4. Oh come on.

5. An injustice to scrambled eggs.

6. Fon-don't.

7. They found the one way to ruin bacon.

8. Nothing like serving a broken glass as garnish.

9. Do you at least get to keep the slippers?

10. That cannot be hygienic.

11. I mean it's kinda cute, but why?

12. Imagine seeing your waiter walk over with this monstrosity.

13. And this was probably ridiculously expensive, to boot.