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There is a special art to not-giving-a-fuck - it's not just "being a dick for no reason", it's flaunting social norms FOR A GODDAMN GOOD REASON....even if that reason is "I felt like wearing a onesie to Wal-Mart." And when you see someone in true, 100% give-no-fucks mode, all you can truly do is stand back and marvel at it - because, let's face it, most of us will always give at least .01 fucks. And these stories from an r/AskReddit thread should truly inspire us all to give up all of our fucks.



1. merlthedog944

In high school a friend of mine got piss loaded drunk, I mean it's a miracle he didn't end up in the hospital. And he didn't have a drive home from the party so what does he do? He calls the police and says "yeah there's some drunk fucker walking up 3rd street yelling" and what does he do then? Walks up 3rd street till they pick him up and drive him to his mothers house



2. Frazer-mac

Watched a man get half tripped up by an elderly woman while rounding a corner. He dropped his drumstick (ice cream) cone as this happened. He looked at the woman who was apologizing profusely, stared for a few seconds, THEN PULLED ANOTHER DRUMSTICK FROM HIS POCKET. He then carried on without saying a word to anybody...



3. schnit123

I was at the gym recently and overheard a guy talking on the phone to someone who I presume was his wife. The conversation went something like this:

"I just need another ten or fifteen minutes to finish up...just another ten or fifteen minutes...just another ten or fifteen minutes...just another ten or fifteen minutes...just another...okay fine I'm leaving now."

He then hung up and spent the next ten to fifteen minutes finishing up his routine.



4. theGreatCritisizer

Guy at my work making over 100k is getting shit for something stupid for the last time from this supervisor that nobody likes. Doesn't say anything. Leaves all his shit, gets up and walks. 2 days later, he's got a raise and doesn't have a superviser anymore.



5. DasB0000t

Went to the city court to pay off a ticket. I was upset because the wait was about and hour and a half plus who enjoys paying for a ticket. Finally my number gets called and as I sit down at one of the desks an older man walks in and sees the ridiculous amount of people waiting in the que. The man says "fuck it I'll just go to jail" loud enough for some of us to hear then walks out of the building. The lady at the desk didn't think it was funny but it made my day.



6. Barkingpanther

Saw a kid playing in a mud puddle at a park. The dad was all "no, no buddy you're gonna get all muddy!" The kid slowly sat down in the puddle and reclined in it, dipping the back of his hair in the puddle then sat up quick, whipping muddy water in the air like a Pantene commercial.

That was my son.



7. trident042

I love to tell this one because I got to watch it all unfold and because I caused it, to an extent.

I worked for a call center for a time, and a friend from my original training class was getting tired of it after a couple years. This is a guy for whom life has basically gone: job, large savings, no job, whittle savings, rinse repeat. He lives totally minimalistically the whole time, so he came to this job after two years of NEET life. And to NEET life he was prepared to return, a hearty three years worth of savings under his belt.

He told me he was tired of the bullshit, and he didn't want to keep working. I liked having a friend at work with his attitude, so I convinced him to instead make them fire him. He agreed, and began a very linear scale of laziness. The first week, he began a strict regiment of call avoidance. He would come in, abuse the phone status changes, take maybe one call, go on his first break, come back, take maybe one more call, go on lunch, etc. For a full week he took four or six calls a day, and no one said a damn thing. The second week, he took basically no calls. He did a great job of looking busy when important people came by. Somehow, his supervisor did not come to talk to him, and the people who monitored phone stats either overlooked him or were investigating a phone anomaly.

The third week was where he really shined. We were responsible for our own time sheets, as represented on the employee website. He would come in at the start of his first break, go on break, take no calls, go on lunch, take no calls, go on break, and leave. But on his timesheet, he put his normal start and end times, to get paid for a full work day.

The Friday of week three is when they finally came for him. I was so proud of my boy when they laid down a piece of Word Doc in front of him to sign, stating he would relinquish his pay that he did not earn - which he promptly refused to sign. Since they could not compel him to sign it, the supervisor got irate, and walked him then and there.

Thing is, if you're fired, you have to have an exit interview. He didn't get one, so they had to call him back in, pay him for his time, and exit interview him properly. And then of course he got unemployment to supplement his savings. He did so well he moved to Colorado.

And if anyone is feeling like this company didn't deserve that level of scamming, I'm happy to report: it was Comcast.



8. Perlsker

My highschool had what was a beauty pageant for senior dudes. It raised money for their prom. It was always in good fun. But one of the competitions was a swimsuit walk and to keep things from going too far speedos were banned. That did not, however, stop one guy from wearing his mom's bikini in front of an auditorium full of classmates and teachers. It was as revealing as one would expect and I have no idea how nobody stopped him before it was too late...



9. LDKCP

I used to work on reception of an upscale hotel. We had an elderly (mid eighties) gentleman working as concierge who would spend his shifts chatting away to guests. He was likable and charming and often got away with being a little inappropriate.

One day two ladies check in for a Spa weekend. As he's walking away, rolling their luggage I overhear his conversation. He asked them where they were from, and they replied Halifax his response. "Oh, I once had violent sex with a girl from Halifax, lovely little town".

They laughed. Old people can get away with all sorts.



10. Commander_Shepard_

At my last job as an insurance adjuster, we had this guy who was always perpetually pissed at management for perceived injustices. Well, one day they bring us into a meeting to describe to us a bunch of workflows, and he just rails on them, even going so far as to get up on the board in the room, drawing a pie chart and forcing the directors to admit that they are making us do more work than reasonable. He was reprimanded afterwords, but it was nice to see that somebody thought the same way I did.



11. TreeStaratSeerT

This happened years ago, I had just been at a club and back then I didn't drink or do drugs but I never judged if others chose to do so.

This girl I was with, she wasn't a super close friend, we had some mutual friends so we saw eachother a lot but didn't spend that much time together. Anyways, she had popped some pills earlier and was pretty drunk and we're walking to the train station because we're on the same line and it's almost 2am and we are both exhausted.

She'd taken off her heels and is walking barefoot in the middle of winter and is talking about the time she broke her arm falling off the monkey bars in school.

Suddenly she decides she wants to hit up this 24hour burger place on the way to the station.

We get there and she buys me a burger because I'm short on cash but she also buys five extra burgers and fries and at the time I was teasing her about how much food she bought. Very casually she mentions that they're for a friend and when we get to the station she walks over to a couple of homeless dudes and sits down next to them and starts chatting like they've known eachother their whole lives. It was a bit awkward for me, I had never spoken to a homeless person and these were proper homeless people -like they smelled pretty bad, and were missing half their teeth. They were nice guys, but boy it was a new experience for me.

Anyways, so we're eating burgers with these stinky homeless guys and then they light up a joint and share it. The fact that she shared a joint with these toothless people really grossed me out but I stuck around.

When our train was only a few minutes away we said goodbye, and I spied her slipping them some cash after hugging each of them goodbye.

We got on our train no problems, and I ask her how on earth she was good friends with random homeless people and she laughed it off saying that she usually chills with them when waiting for the train.

It was crazy to me, she had done something wonderful for another person like it was no big deal at all. It really put me in my place when I realised that I would otherwise had never even looked at someone like that. She didn't seem to care at all about the entire exchange and that momment sticks with me as an example of someone doing something good without needing any kind of validation.



12. unscrewedlightbulb

We were at a party in highschool, and my buddy is wasted. Some girl comes over and starts yelling at him about him telling his exgirlfriend to fuck off, when she was trying to explain why she cheated on him. He calmly stands up, goes over to my friends refridgerator and starts looking around without speaking. The girl goes, "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME??" from across the kitchen. My buddy then like a rubberband snapping. Pulls out a craft singles piece of cheese and throws it straight at her and it hits her in the forehead. He walked downstairs to the basement and passed out like 5 minutes later



13. RedditIsATimeSucker

Went to one of the nicer theaters in town. A cool date night place that most people get moderately dressed up for. Place serves actual food, and it's good food too. Reclining, reserved leather seating. A bar. The whole 9 yards.

There was a lady, mid 50s, early 60s, there with her husband. She was in Pjs, wrapped in a blanket, carrying a pillow, and having her husband (dressed in khakis and a polo) collect tons of children's candy, and just sits down in her fucking cocoon of blankets and snacks.

This lady is my inspiration. She gave zero fucks about how out of place she looked, and just wanted to be comfortable in the theater. It was awesome.



14. Acromins

I was driving behind a person wearing a hat driving their convertible with the top down on a nice summer day. For some reason they leaned their head out the car and their hat flew right off in the wind. Without missing a beat they reach over to their passenger seat and put another hat on their head. Kept driving like nothing happened



15. poeticrubbish

I worked at a call center for awhile to which, as we all know, is hell on earth. Had a coworker look my dead in the eyes and say, "thanks for calling verizon. Go fuck yourself!" And hung up.

He then proceeded to log out for a 2 hour lunch.

He came back, but was quickly escorted out.



16. mydogtherapist

I worked in a craft cocktail bar for a while, and a guest was complaining that the drink she got didn't match her preferences. She was being rather rude and condescending, and wouldn't give anyone a direct answer as to what was wrong with the drink. A guest to her right asked "what did you ask for?" She replied, and the guest, without hesitation grabbed her drink. He finished it in one chug, looked her straight in the eye, and said "that's exactly what you described, and it was delicious. Don't be a bitch."

We bought him all of his drinks the rest of the night.