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"Making your way online today takes everything you've got. Taking a break from real life sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go where no one knows your screenname, and they never know you came. You wanna be where you can get see some jokes that aren't lame. You wanna be where no one knows your screenname."



1. He got REALLY messed up by Call Me By Your Name (if you don't get that, just google "Call Me By Your Name peach")



2. They just got married because she found out she's carrying a water bottle.



3. YOU WANT REGULAR FACES? GO TO CBS.



4. This is what Indiana Jones 5 will be about.



5. As a former bus boy, let me assure this guy there's no way anyone's beating me to that burger.



6. Gonna be pretty embarrassing for the messiah to lose to Star Fox



7. Not only did the movie bomb, but...



8. You have made a grave enemy this day, Dunkin' Donuts.



9. I finally believe.



10. HMMMM NO CLUE???



11. FINALLY.



12. Seems a little mean-spirited.



13. Hmmm yes hello there President James Buchanan