Even with vast knowledge of the benefits of not drinking, it can be difficult to begin and maintain a life that is alcohol-free. Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are very gripping disorders so it's not always possible to quit cold turkey. Hopefully these tips on how to drink less will help you successfully limit or cease your alcohol consumption.

Read more jokes about drugs and alcohol from CollegeHumor. 


How To Drink Less





1. Try Drinking Tea

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Sometimes, the ritual of drinking is the thing that you miss the most about giving up alcohol, so it can be helpful to replace it with something else. I suggest trying tea. It's more interesting than water but MUCH healthier than soda. It also has a lot of health benefits, antioxidants, which will have you feeling a million times better than you did when you were on the sauce. Though it might takes some time getting used to, pretty soon you'll wonder how you lived this long without this much tea in your life.



2. Exercise

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Of course, a major thing you miss when giving up alcohol is the high that it grants you, so it's important to find a replacement to make you feel good as well. One good option is exercise. Adding an hour of cardio to your daily routine can improve your blood pressure and make quitting liquor a million times easier. Not only does it provide some obvious benefits, but it will also give you an endorphin rush that puts being drunk to shame.  



3. Heroin

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Another wonderful substitute for alcohol is heroin. Not only is it easier to do than exercise but the high is also so much better....like, SO much better. Like, seriously I can't describe how much better it is. I wish I had some right now, if we're being honest. A little bit of heroin and you won't even THINK about being drunk again. I know I don't. I do think about heroin a lot, though.



4. Go Out Less

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Sometimes the reason you drink is because the temptation is there, so getting rid of the temptation can help get rid of the urge to drink. One way to do this is to try and become more of a homebody. Yes, I know it can be hard, but honestly, if you do enough heroin it becomes easier than you'd expect. Actually, getting OUT of the house becomes the hard part, if we're being honest.



5. Try Not To Socialize  As Much

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Restructuring your social life is another helpful way to go booze free. Drinking alcohol is a social activity, so when you're around people who are drinking you're more likely to drink. Again, I know it sounds hard, but honestly since I discovered heroin my friends have no interest in me and I have no interest in them. They just keep trying to take my heroin away from me.  



6. Try Listening To Jazz

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I don't know why, but I've been super in to jazz lately. I just really feel it, ya know?