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After a series of unhinged tweets yesterday, Roseanne has been summarily fired from ABC and her rebooted sitcom cancelled. The topics her tweets covered ranged from how former Obama aide Valerie Jarrett was a Muslim ape, to how Chelsea Clinton was secretly married into the Soros family, retweeting fake memes about turning America into an Islamic state, and more! If you were just waking up from a 20 year coma, this all might come as somewhat shocking news....unless you've been paying attention to literally anything Roseanne has been saying at all for the past 5 or so years.

ABC, for their part, acted shocked that Roseanne would tweet such bizarre and abhorrent things. And why shouldn't they? It's not like they knew she was like this beforehand, right? We managed to dig up a transcript of the first meeting ABC execs had with Roseanne to discuss the new reboot - and that should shed some light on things:



  1. ABC Executive #1

    Roseanne! Thanks so much for coming in!

  2. Roseanne

    LIBERALS ARE DOING PIZZAGATE. THEY ARE ALL PEDOPHILES.

  3. ABC Executive #2

    Haha, great great. Classic Roseanne. Anyways, we've been thinking...

  4. Roseanne

    NANCY PELOSI IS A REPTILE PERSON. HER EYES ARE REPTILE EYES.

  5. ABC Executive #1

    Amazing - always being outrageous! Love it! Anyways, we were talking and we think we landed on a great idea - let's reboot Roseanne!

  6. Roseanne

    HILLARY CLINTON MURDERED SETH RICH ALONG WITH MUSLIM OBAMA

  7. ABC Executive #2

    Ha! She's still got it! Anyways, it's 20 years later - and Dan's alive! We can mostly ignore that last season -

  8. Roseanne

    NUKE ALL LIBERAL COLLEGES. GEORGE W. BUSH DID 9/11.

  9. ABC Executive #1

    Uh huh, yeah, sure sure! Anyways, we were thinking of putting it on after The Middle.

  10. Roseanne

    SUSAN RICE IS A MAN AND HAS APE BALLS.

  11. ABC Executive #2

    ...you're gonna stop saying all of this stuff once the show's on the air, right?

  12. ABC Executive #1

    I mean, sure, you're an insane racist spreading dangerous unfounded conspiracy theories NOW - but you'll stop once you're a network sitcom star again, right?

  13. ABC Executive #2

    Most unhinged racists are great at keeping their opinions to themselves once they get rich, right?

  14. Roseanne

    QANON IS REAL, CHRISSY TEIGEN IS A SECRET PEDOPHILE

  15. ABC Executive #1

    Great! We're just gonna pretend we were unaware of all of this and hope you just magically stop saying this stuff! Deal?

  16. Roseanne

    OBAMA IS A NAZI

  17. ABC Executive #2

    Deal!




And just so you know - these were all real things Roseanne was saying before her sitcom was put back on the air. Great job ignoring these, ABC!

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