Most of the time, teachers maintain their composure despite being surrounded by little hell beasts determined to make their lives a living hell.
But, we have to remember, they're still only human after all and sometimes after all the pressure buils, they'll do something just a little irrational. These teachers have taught us something more than algebra, they've taught us the fragility of the human psyche.
Six foot five and chubby beloved science-biology teacher in his late sixties who breeds his own lines of roses and other fauna. Played football at collegiate level then fought in a war.
Stupid spoiled redneck sixteen year old that can barely read who has rich farmer grandparents on both sides and thinks he is untouchable.
Teacher calls him in up to his desk and demands his notebook and homework assignments; complete or not.
Idiot grabs teachers ever-present giant coffee mug from the desk. Yells "Sooey pig pig pig!" and splashes coffee in teachers face.
Idiot runs for the door giggling like a madman but doesn't make it. Gets tossed out of the classroom door so hard he hits the opposite wall in the hall and we hear him squealing and crying down the hall as he is repeatedly caught and kicked in the ass by a giant.
My middle school science teacher showed the class a documentary about how the moon landing was faked.
Not really crazy but my high school math teacher brought a portable fryer to class. Started cooking eggrolls in dead silence while we took our test. That was strange and infuriatingly loud.
This particular teacher in my senior year absolutely hated cellphones, and it also wasn't the greatest bunch of kids at doing their homework or studying for tests so like half the class was failing. This was about 12 years ago now and smart phones costed a hell of a lot more and were quite basic. Stuff like the LG chocholate or similar.
HE was going off and yelling at the class trying to knock some sense into them, stopped for a moment and noticed a kid in the back row messing with his new phone completely not paying attention.
He stood up, walked up to him (the kid still hadn't noticed) ripped the phone out of his hand and threw it out the open window 3 stories down into the parking lo because after 7 months of terrible students who didn't give a rats ass about the class he had finally had enough
No one said anything and there was just this "Holy shit, wtf just happened?" vibe in the class room. Then he just casually sat back down and got back to what he was saying.
On a dare, I shot a rubberband at our science teacher. He caught me just as I let it fly. He took a glass tube, marched over to where I was sitting, and cracked the tube on my desk. He said, 'If you ever do that again, I will gouge out your eyeballs,' as he's holding the now ragged glass tube in my face.
He really was a decent teacher, but he had a bit of a temper.
This was years ago, but in high school shop class. Teacher was a grizzly ole Vietnam vet who didn't take shit from anyone. For a clearer picture, he liked to start the first day of class talking about safety around tools, gesteruring wildly, then proceed to "accidently" jam a carpenters knife all the way into his leg. Of course it freaked the fuck out of everyone until he showed us it was wooden and it was to show us to always respect the tools or you could easily fuck yourself up.
We had one kid who was always a dirtbag. Constantly talking, distracting other students, talking back, sleeping... just generally being a douchey little "thug". Well our teacher was going over a project we were gonna start, mousetrap cars. We were gonna be working on them using bandsaws and other dangerous equipment. Kid just lays his head down and starts snoring. He wasn't really asleep, just being a douche. Teacher set 3 mousetraps, and threw them straight at the kid. 1 clipped his ear, another hit his thumb, and the last missed.
Shit like that would get a teacher fired nowadays but I'll tell you one thing, he didn't act like a douche in his class after that.
The guy wanted to show us how buldozers worked, so he started running in a straight line pushing all the desks he found in his way (with the students seated). This is also the guy who threw pens outside the window to show us how gravity worked and jumped on top of his desktop multiple times to show us the hardness of the material...
He taught English...
One kid kept acting up in our grade school class and wouldn't heed the teacher's warning to quiet down. So teacher walks casually down the aisle where the kid sat, feigned a trip and elbowed the kid on his head then profusely apologized.
In 4th grade, my teacher tried to tell us that ducks can't float. She claimed ducks feet were always paddling to keep them above water.
My friend and I knew this wasnt correct. My friend told his dad about it after having dinner.
My friends dad told him to tell the teacher she was "full of shit." He had been drinking whiskey and beer as all good dads do.
So my friend did tell the teacher she was full of shit. In class the next day.
The teacher said.... verbatim "your dad is full of fucking shit" in front of a class of fourth graders.
She got fired.
My English teacher went on Wheel of Fortune. Came in last place.
Smashed a desk a kid was sitting at in half with a sledgehammer, he was legitimately a great teacher
I had a college Spanish teacher that was so bizarre he could have been a weird antagonist in a YA book series.
First of all, he had a GIANT head. Like...megamind. God I wish I still had a picture.
So first day of class, we mostly chitchat and he tells us about himself.
Some of the things he told us/some of the things he did: He speaks 5 languages - Spanish, English, Icelandic, italian, and French. He was born and raised in Iceland. His son is a semi-pro tennis player. He used to work for the United Nations. He met his Italian wife at the United Nations. He frequently cheats on his wife with some woman in Canada. He has dual citizenship in Iceland, America, and Venezuela. He's written 5 books. He thinks fat people are disgusting. He used the word "retard" several times throughout the entire semester. He wouldn't let "fat" girls bring a snack to class but everyone else could. He wouldn't let you use the bathroom. He went on and on and on about how women are inferior and they "belong at home".
He did this every class. We made it through 4 chapters and he gave us the answers to the final.
Had a nervous break down and threw a desk at a kid.
Had a Spanish teacher that used to keep a bottle of vodka in his desk and stayed drunk all day.
5th grade teacher, 1995-1996: I learned a surprisingly amount from him and retained a lot of knowledge, but CHRIST was the guy strict to the tenth power. He was an angry old man who carried around a wooden dowel rod and would randomly smack stuff with it out of anger.
The dowel rod's name was "Bruce II." What happened to the original Bruce? My friend Dave enraged the teacher so badly that he swatted Bruce across his desk in a violent rage, and shattered the poor stick into splinters.
The guy might have been a maniacal authoritarian with a wooden stick fixation, but 11-year old me always aced the American history tests with scores of A++.