Dear Mortgage Advertisements,

I appreciate your tenacity in trying to get me a lower mortgage. I see your advertisements anywhere from Foxnews.com to NoFatChicksExceptWednesdays.com.

However, I do not need you to tattoo my new mortgage price on my forearm. Nor do I need symmetrical shadow cowboys dancing. I refuse to believe that four grown men would be so joyous in my new mortgage that they would break out into synchronized dance.


Sincerely,
Adam Minor, XXI