Making a good Would-You-Rather takes a lot of time,

So instead I picked my favorite ones and put them into rhyme.

Would you rather never masturbate, or get hand jobs every day?

The catch is that they’re from a guy (it’s cheating if you’re gay).

Would you rather have to pee thumb tacks, or poop out Rubik’s Cubes?

Drink an 8-ounce glass of snot, or eat a bowl of pubes?

Would you rather have to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes,

Or be always out of context with the proverbs that you use?

Would you rather eat your girlfriend’s turd, or one you made yourself?

Get free Mencia DVDs, or leave them on the shelf?

Would you rather smell like rotting fish for one entire year?

Some guy named Tim sent that one in; it’s not quite done, I fear.

Would you rather, on a chalkboard, grind your teeth down to the gums,

Or dig through your achilles tendon using just your thumbs?

Would you rather make out with a guy or with your little sister?

Would you rather eat some fresh-peeled scabs or bite a puss-filled blister?

Would you rather drink some curdled milk out of a hairy glass,

Or drink some fresh, unspoiled milk from someone’s hairy ass?

Would you rather get mad cow disease, or win the Nobel Prize?

There was one like that on SNL; try not to plagiarize.

Would you rather have a giant hamster or a tiny rhino?

I would choose the second one… but what the hell do I know?

Would you rather have some useless gills, or wings that cannot fly?

The guy who sent those last two in was probably pretty high.

The worst of them, I think, is this (though most are rather sick):

Would you rather fuck your mom, or suck your father’s dick?

That's all for now, but don't forget to send your own in too,

'Cause everyone loves choosing which thing they would rather do.

More WYRs at!