May cause anal leakage.
I realized I had a problem with pornography the other day so I went to talk to my priest. He doesn’t have a password for Bangbus either.
Loud Roommate Who Has No Sense of HumorGuy: Worst thing about living here is the sandpaper we have to wipe with in the bathroom.
Roommate: WHAT SANDPAPER!? WHY NOT JUST USE THE ONE PLY TOILET PAPER THEY HAVE?? ITS A LITTLE ROUGH BUT IT GETS THE JOB DONE!!!!!!!
A Viking Gets Soap In His Eye During His War CryYyyeeaaaaaaaaiiiieeeerrrggghhhh!!!
Ancient ProverbA Wise man once said, “Lays potato chips are terrible.”
Not every porn title is a great ideajust look at Naughty America's "My Sister's Hot Mom."
Comic-con Pick-Up Lines"Are you Bruce Banner's anger, 'cause you're making me huge."
"You must be a radioactive spider cause I'm shooting out warm sticky white liquid right now."
"You must be Aquagirl because your vagina smells like fish."
I was watching TV and I saw someone I thought had down syndrome in the audience. I went back with my DVR and it turns out the kid just had big glasses and was a flappy clapper.
My class is at 10:15 and it takes me thirty minutes to get ready. Today I wanted to eat some breakfast so I set my alarm for 9:11. Too soon?